Chapter 1

It was a nice and happy day. The moon and the stars were shining brightly, decorating the night sky. The cold wind is blowing through my braided long hair done by my mom this afternoon. It was really a wonderful day.

But why?

I fell on my knees when I heard the news of my family being dead. There are tears wanting to escape from my eyes but I will not cry. No! The moment I’ll shed a tear is the moment I accept that they are dead and I know they’re not.

I ended the call with Loren and I started dialling my parents’ number. My hands are trembling but I did my best to call them. I put the phone in my ear but it’s the operator who answered saying it’s unavailable. It’s the same with Joel’s.

My heart is beating so fast that I think it will break out from my ribcage.

No! They are not dead, Jo.

While I was thinking who should I call to know where my family is, I received a message from Loren. It has the name of a hospital.

Should I go here? I should, right? I think I'm slowly losing my sanity. I think the only thing I could do is to go to this hospital and check. If my family weren't there and what Loren said isn't true, she'll definitely lose her job.

I did my best to gather my self back and stood up. I can still feel my body shaking. I went back to the studio to get my things. My bandmates are laughing when I opened the door.

“Jordynn? Who called?”

“Why are your eyes red?”

“You look so pale.”

“Hey!”

I don’t know who asked which but I can hear them,I just can’t process anything. I just needed to get my things and get out of here. I need to go to that hospital.

I was about to open the door to leave when someone grabbed my hand to stop me. I tried to pull it back, but he’s strong. I was forced to face Louie.

“Are you okay? Where are you going?” I really hate when someone asks me if I was okay. I feel so vulnerable. Tears started streaming down my face.

“No! No! No!” I tried to stop my tears but I just continued crying. I told myself I won’t cry. My parents aren’t dead. I shouldn’t cry!

They all panicked when they saw me crying. They hurriedly went to me, looking so shocked and worried on how I acted.

“What did you do, Louie?” I can hear the anger on the voice of Vince while asking that.

“I just asked her if she’s okay” Louie let go of my arm and looked at me worriedly.

Paul held my arm gently “What happened, Jordynn?”

I shook my head and tried to remove his hand on me “I need to go”

“I think you hurt her, Louie.” Jacob told Louie, sounding pissed.

Louie frowned at him “I just held her arm to check on her”

“I’m good. I'll just go” I told them while wiping my tears.

“Where? I’ll bring you there” Paul told me, eager to help me.

I looked up to him with my eyes full of tears. “Hospital”

“Why are you going there?” Vince asked and checked if I was hurt somewhere or what.

“I think you really hurt her when you grabbed her arm” Jacob angrily told Louie. He forcefully pulled him away from me. Louie got so pissed because of the way he was treated.

“Shut up, you two!” Paul angrily stopped them, and then he faced me “What hospital?”

I showed him the text message of Ate Loren and he nodded. “It’s far from here but I’ll bring you there”

“I brought dad’s car. We can use it” We all glanced at Mac who is silent all this time. He showed me the car keys and smiled at me. Tears started flowing down from my eyes again. I feel so thankful but I'm still worried about my family. I just can't bring myself to thank them because of the news I heard.

“What the hell, Mac?” Vince angrily said. 

“What did I do? I just showed her the keys” Mac asked looking so frustrated. He look both guilty and worried why I started crying again.

I shook my head “Please, let just go” I begged.

They all still looked bothered on why I am acting like this but they nodded and get ready to leave. Louie volunteered to clean all our mess and told us that we can go. Paul is staring at me while the others are gathering their things. My hands are still trembling and I am sweating bullets although the studio is fully airconditioned. I really wanted to go now but I also don't want to.

"Let's go, Jordynn" Paul lightly held my arm. We left Louie's house and went to the car. They all came with me except for Louie, but he assured me that he'll follow us. I don't want to bother them but I don't know if I can ride a taxi now to get to the hospital. Paul told Mac which hospital I needed to go and we drove off.

The whole ride to the hospital is quiet. The only noise we can hear is my sob. Vince handed me a tissue while Jacob gave me a bottle of water. Mac is stealing glances at me through the rearview mirror. They don't know what to do since this is the first time I acted like this because of course, this is the only time I heard a phonecall telling me my whole family is dead. 

We are on the middle of the ride when Loren called me. I quickly answered it. She's not crying now but I can hear from her voice when she said hello that she cried a lot.

"Hello" I can feel the stare of my friends at me when I said that.

"Are you on your way here?" She asked me. The longer I hear her sad voice, the faster my heart beats because of fear.

"Yes" I answered while staring outside the window car. Loren just told me to be careful and she's already there waiting for me. The call ended but I continued staring at my phone. My mom should be calling by now checking on me. I started tearing up again when time passes and my mom didn't called me.

We arrived at the hospital after almost two hours. They still come with me to go inside. Vince even held my hand, "You're hands are cold, Jo" I didn't talk. I just continued walking. 

When we walked passed the entrance, my heart started beating loudly again that I think my friends can hear it. Vince even held my hand tightly. I bit my lip to stop the tears that are about to fall. We just continued walking. I saw Loren sitting near the front desk with two police officers. 

I pulled my hand from Vince's hold and went to Loren. She stood up, the same with the police officers. She gave me a tight hug and she started crying on my shoulders. Tears started flowing down my cheeks again while I was staring at the police officers who are looking at us.

"What h-happened to them? Where are they?" I tried to stopped my tears so I can talk properly "I'm Rylie Jordynn Alliardo, they are my f-family" I even introduced myself. Loren let go of me, she wiped her tears and faced the officers. She nod at them.

"Ma'am, your family got into an . . . accident on their way to the airport. They were trying to avoid a car who's about to hit them but your father, who was the driver, didn't see a truck coming," he paused and he stared at me sadly "The truck hit your family's car" He took a deep breath "I'm sorry, Ms. Rylie, but your parents, Mr. Ricardo and Mrs. Jonalyn, and your brothers, Joel and James we're declared dead on the spot. While your other two brothers, Jared and Jules, were dead on arrival" 

I feel like the whole world stopped. I can't feel my body shaking, or my hands trembling anymore. My tears stopped falling. I just stared at the police officers shocked by what he just told me.

I hope he will take it back. I can even accept it if he shouted that he was just kidding. I hope everything is just a lie or a joke. I wish they weren't dead. 

I fell in my knees and looked up to the police officers. My tears once again started forming in my eyes. Someone held my arms trying to help me stand up. I can also hear the cries of Loren. 

I never begged anyone except to my parents to buy me things I want. But right now, I'll begged to anyone or to someone, just to please bring my family back. 

I started having difficulty to breathe but I still tried to beg to the police officers "Sir, I'll give you anything y-you want. I can give you all my money. I can even give you our. . . our house, my car, all our assets" I tried to stop my cries to speak more, to beg more "Please bring back my family." I put my hands together "P-Please"

The police looked at me with pure pity but I don't care anymore. I just need my family back. I don't need anything, aside from my family. They can't just leave me all at once.

"Sir, I can accept if they lose a limb or if they all cannot walk forever. It's fine! It's okay with me" I look around thinking of things that they can be, just not being dead "Uhm. . it's even fine if they can't remember me or if they are. . if they are in coma. It's okay with me. Just please, tell me they are alive" I begged while crying. My tears never stopped. I don't think they will, anytime soon.

"I'm sorry, ma'am" sadness was evident in the voice of the officer while trying to lift me up to stand. I shook my head and push him away. "They can't be dead. My father is just leaving to go abroad but he will comeback after six months. My family will just drop him on the airport and they will come home tonight" I covered my face with my hands and cried harder "You are all lying. They will never leave me here all alone"

I can feel someone hugging me while my face is covered with my hands. I didn't know that I can cry this hard. I didn't know my family can leave me behind. I should just come with them this afternoon. I should just skipped the rehearsal. I should be dead too. I should be with them. 

Why am I here all alone?

After a moment of crying hard, I stood up and looked around. The police officers, Loren and my friends looked so flustered when I crazily looked around the hospital with tears in my eyes.

Whenever I read a book, when something bad happens, the protagonist wishes that it was just a bad dream. My dad told me that I am the lead character in this life, and I wish that this is just a dream. A bad dream. A nightmare. Even though that really sound absurd, I still think that this is just a nightmare. And for you to wake up you should hurt yourself. 

The sound of the slap that I gave to myself resonated to the whole hallway where we are all standing. Everyone look so shocked, worried and wondering why I did that. It was painful but I'm still here. The pain I had on my cheeks didn't even come near the pain I have inside. But I just can't stop. I should do something to wake up from this. 

I slapped myself again but I'm still here. I was about to do it again when Paul stopped me. I pushed him and I hit myself repeatedly. Everyone panicked but I pushed them all away. I don't even know where this strength came from but I was eager to wake up. I slapped myself, pulled my hair and scratched my arms. I think I even hurt someone. However, I don't even care. I just wanted to wake up . . . or if this is reality, I just wanted to die.

"RYLIE!" I stopped hurting myself when someone called my name. It sounded like my dad so I looked around, wiped my tears and there, I saw him.

Uncle Lenard ran to me and he gave me a tight hug. I thought I can't cry anymore but in the sight of my father's bestfriend since he was in grade school, I breakdown. Tito Lenard supported my whole weight because I don't have any strength left to stand anymore. My knees gave up as I just realized everything.

This is reality. My family are really dead. And I am all alone.