Chapter 7

After that little conversation at the park, Lucius drove me home. He didn't answered and just gave me a small smile after I sincerely thanked him. We just stayed silent and watched the peaceful scenery in front of us. No one talked but it was good, it wasn't awkward at all. He just continued sitting beside me enjoying the burger and fries but I felt that I am not alone and he will always be with me. Lucius is really a nice guy.

"Thanks for driving me home" I told him after I removed my seatbelts. The sun is about to set and we're parked in front of my empty house. I asked Loren to go home after cleaning it because I want to be alone for this night. 

"You're welcome. Are you sure you want to stay here all by yourself?" I stared at the house before forcing a small smile and looking back at his eyes "Of course" I answered with my soft voice.

I think Lucius realized that I really wanted to be alone so he nodded although he looked really worried. I waved my hand at him first before finally opening the door of his car. Once I got out of it I walked straight to our front gate.

I stared at the black front gate that my dad personally designed for a second before having the guts to finally open it. I think I became used of the pain inside my chest that I am feeling right now. I don't really get affected by it easily just like what happened to me on the first few days but I admit that it was really painful. 

One deep breath and I started walking to the front door. I walked passed the yard that has the plants and flowers that my mom loves and took care of. There's also the picnic table that my parents love to spend their mornings at. My mom spent hours here looking and admiring the plants that she has and we talked here a lot also. The front yard is full of fresh memories and my brothers loved to play here too.

Those sweet memories ran in my mind that gives both happiness and sadness in me. If only I knew that those were the last time I should've told my mom more stories, spent more time running with my brothers and sat at the picnic table until lunch time although its hot just to be with my dad. The pain in my chest are now causing me to have a hard time to breathe but I still built my courage to enter the house and looked around the living room.

The furniture are now back to its original position. 'Mom, do you remember how much time we spent to decorate the living room?' I closed my eyes for a second imagining the pretty and smiling face of my mom.

I don't want to breakdown in here so I better go upstairs and check their rooms. I told Loren not to touch anything there, I want to see it just like how they left it. I didn't bother opening the lights yet because surprisingly this darkness comforts me. I walked through the stairs that my little brothers love to race at. I let a short laugh while imagining them happily running to go to the kitchen just to eat the donuts my mom bought. 

I first went to Joel's room and his room is neat. His room used to be dirty but my mom always shouts at him so he learned to clean his own room. Our family picture is in his bedside table. It was the same picture that was posted in their funeral. The tears that I was refraining to fall since this morning are free now. I let them fall and imagine my used to be happy life. It did turned 360 degrees. 

I wiped that tears in my cheeks although they just kept on falling. I got tired so I just let them be. "I love you so much, Joel" I hugged his solo picture that was placed beside our family photo. 

I went to the triplets' room after. This room is loudest in the house but now the three race car beds are empty. I looked around and saw their stuffed toys, books, clothes and shoes on the floor. Their room is messy. I tried to pick some but their memories are too much to handle so I sat on the carpeted floor and hugged their things so tight, imagining it was them.

"I should've come with you. I should've dead and be with you guys. . . Why did you left me here all alone? You sister can't handle this." my loud cries fill the room. Since their death this was the first time that I cried this hard. I thought the loudest and hardest cry I did was on the hospital but it wasn't. I can cry freely here because I can still feel their presence here. I can imagining them hugging me. I can imagine them telling me to be alright and smile because they're here. 

One last room, and it was my parent's. I went there hugging the stuffed toys of my brothers. I looked so pitiful but it's fine. No one can see me in this state right now. I just wanted to cry and let out some stuffs. I can fake my emotions and smile in front of others but I know I needed to cry when I'm with myself.

The room of my parents are in the combinations of gray, white, and black. They have their own television in front of their bed, under it was collection of CDs and the records of me and my brothers' growth. Our achievement and many memories. It was neatly organized based on our names. I picked one and turned on the TV and DVD. 

I sat on the floor, leaned on the bed and hugged the stuffed toy again as I watched the recording. It was my senior high school graduation. I graduated as the valedictorian and on the footage I was giving my valedictory speech.

"That's my daughter!" My dad proudly shouted beside my mom who's the one who records. I can hear my mom's giggle behind the camera because of how my dad acted. Some parents glanced at them with a smile on their faces. The video stopped for a second after my speech.

Tears are streaming down my face while I watch my dad shouting proudly that I am his daughter. I am more proud that I became their child. They are the best parents in my world and I couldn't ask for more. 

The video is now showing that graduation rites are done and I am holding a bouquet of roses. There are graduates and parents that are around us. I am smiling widely and genuine happiness is evident in my eyes. My dad is smiling too beside me and his arms are around my shoulders. My mom is still the one who's recording. I glance at the camera and waved. I showed my medals, diploma and flowers before going near my mom. I remembered giving her the flowers and diploma before getting the camera from her.

Now the video shows both of my parents looking so happy. I started interviewing them, "So Mr. and Mrs. Alliardo, how are you feeling that your eldest is now going to college?"

My dad answered, "Hmmm. Both happy and sad, because you're now getting older and I think the time that you'll be marrying a guy is coming sooner" then he dramatically made a sad face.

"What the heck, dad? I'm just going to college!" my laugh can be heard in the video.

"Yeah. And there's a chance that you'll meet a guy there that you'll fall in love with" He reasoned and my mom shook her head on how my dad was acting up.

My cries grew louder and harder as the video went by. 

"Mom, Dad, are you proud with me?" I asked on the video.

They both gave me the what-the-hell-are-you-asking look before my mom speaks "We're more than proud, Rylie Jordynn" and she smile at me.

Those smiles. I'll never see those pretty smiles again now.

"Yes! Your mom is right. I just wanted you to graduate but you graduated not only with honors but as a valedictorian. Daddy's more than proud, princess" then I saw him coming to me to give me a kiss on the forehead.

I cannot take it anymore so I paused the video. In the frame I saw them both smiling so wide because of what I achieved. I held unto my chest while I'm hugging the stuffed toys and my knees.

"I miss you so much" I said in between my cries. I lay down to the floor and looked at the screen showing both of my parents' faces. I closed my eyes and remembers every moments with them with tears flowing down my cheeks. With their memories filling my brain, I slowly drifted into a deep sleep.

I woke up because of the sunlight that is hitting my face. I scratched my eyes as I slowly opened it. I blinked repeatedly before sitting up and looked around still half asleep. I stretched my arms and body as I felt the pain on my back because I slept on the floor. 

I frowned as I realized that I am on my parent's room. Some CDs are on the floor and the stuffed toy is beside me. I looked up and my parents' faces are still on the screen. I can feel my eyes swollen before trying to smile "Good morning, mom and dad!" I greeted them like I used to. "I'm going to school today, I hope I didn't slept in" I added before yawning and cleaning the mess I did yesterday night. I don't want my mom getting mad.

After that I stood up to turn off the TV. I kissed their images first before that. I looked around the room and took a deep breathe. 'I will do my best to continue with my life again'. I can't just spend my time crying, I still need to continue making them proud. I nodded to myself before walking to the glass door going to the balcony. 

I scrunched my forehead when I saw Lucius' car still parked in front of our house. Did he came back? Or did he even leave? I can't remember seeing his car drove off because as I get out of it, I got lost in my thoughts and feeling so I didn't looked back.

I needed answers so I went down to go to his car, still wearing the clothes I have since the funeral yesterday morning. I feel dirty. I wanted to take a bath already but I need to go and ask Lucius first.

As I went out of the gate frowning, his car door opened and he got out with the clothes he had since yesterday morning too. He looked tired but he's still handsome though.

"You didn't go home?" I asked and looked up because he towered over me.

He ran his finger on his hair before shaking his head. I crossed my arms at him, "Why?"

"Our house is a bit far from here so I thought that if you ever called me it might take hours before I'll get here" he explained using his deep and husky voice.

I looked at him in disbelief, "So you chose to sleep in your car instead?"

He nodded before leaning in his car. It's pretty obvious that he wanted to ask me about my swollen eyes but he refrained his self from doing so, instead he asked "Did you eat your breakfast already? I'm going to drop you to school today, what's your schedule?"  

I shook my head because I'm still thinking on how he slept in this car. It must be uncomfortable. I appreciate that his worried but he should not go this far. What did I do to deserve this action of his? What's his reason? I'm so confused. I wanted to ask him question but I don't know where to start.

"Okay. I'll cook for you. Can I come in?" I didn't answer him and continued watching his moves. I just took a step sideways so he can know that he can come in. He stood up straight before saying "After you, Rylie Jordynn" with his serious face and captivating deep voice.