Chapter 6

I wore my sunglasses as I went out of Lucius' car. The cold wind blows through my braided long hair and my white sundress danced with it. My feet met the soft green grass that gives color to this quiet, peaceful place where the people who passed away rests. My eyes scan through the cemetery, the greenery add to the beauty over everything dead. The grave stones stands for some promise that the living won't forget the dead, however the decrepit stones only shows that they are.

The days went so fast yet so slow at the same time, today is my family's burial. The others mourners stand under the tent, their own umbrellas and some stands under the shade of the nearby trees. Lucius walked beside me and offered his arms so I can hold it. I put my arm around his and we walked side by side. 

All eyes were focused to me again, I walked to the front row and sat on the chair ignoring their stares. Week passed and I barely talked to anyone aside from Lucius. I looked at the six coffins for a short while then fixed my eyes to our happy family picture. There's never a moment for the past days that I have forgotten how I miss my family. Everyday I wake up, I always look for them and hoping even though their death have slapped me many times that this is my ugly reality. 

Lucius handed me a bottle of water but I shook my head, still has my eyes fixed on our family photo. Good thing my eyes were covered with sunglasses and no one will notice that I am tearing up but I won't let it fall, I know I'm strong. 

Despite of not looking around I know that everyone's mourning but only few were true. Minutes passed, the priest came. We all stood up and the funerary rites started. While listening to the priest I want to slow down the time and make it fast at the same time. I want it to be slower because I'm not ready to let them go yet and I want it to be faster too because I think my family deserve to rest now since they have been through a lot.

Some of our relatives and friends said their messages and delivered the eulogies but I didn't. I don't see the need of it since my family won't hear it anymore and also, I know that when I'll start speaking in front, there's a big possibility that I'll cry so I stayed on my seat and let Tito Lenard do it instead.

Lucius keeps glancing at me but I only looked in front. After their messages, it was the time to give the white roses. I let everyone threw their roses first and when it's only me who haven't, I stood up and walked to their coffins. It was covered with flowers now and they only need to cover it with soil.

I looked down on it.

"Make sure to smile, Ate Rylie" Jules told me.

"You deserve to be happy, my princess" my dad gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"I want to see you smiling brightly, Rylie" my mom said to me while gently cupping my cheeks.

I remembered their words and reminders to me. They want me to be happy and today, I'll try to make their wish come true.

I can hear the whispers of the people when I smiled. My smile turned into chuckle. I let out a loud yet so soft laugh while looking down to their coffins. Some tears fell while I'm laughing but I'm wearing sunglasses so no one saw it. Mom, Dad, Joel, James, Jules and Jared, I am happy. You can peacefully rest now. I'll try to get back on my feet again by myself. Although you guys are dead, you will be my forever strength. I love you.

I gently threw the white roses in each of their coffins then I went back to the seat beside Lucius. I don't care if they think I'm crazy for laughing on my family's funeral but I don't care. It's for my family not for them. Think whatever they want.

Lucius is watching me intently but I ignored him. We stood up for a prayer before they finally covered my whole family's coffins with soil. They may be buried in this place but the memories we shared with each other will be kept in my heart forever until the day my body was six feet under too.

It's been an hour since they've been buried. I stand in front of their graves, Lucius never left my side. Tito Lenard has gone to the police station to finalize the case regarding my family's accident. Everyone left but Lucius and I stayed. He gave me the silence I needed but he never let me be alone. He might be scared that I will just take my life all of a sudden but no, I won't do that. I want to go to the paradise when I die so I can meet my family again. I won't end my life and wait until I can go there.  

I let out a deep sigh. I can still feel the connection between me and my family despite of them, passing away. I know I'll come back here very often or I might even sleep here, but now I need to go back and continue with my life. That's what my mom and dad is telling me right now. I will graduate and have a stable life just like what they wish.

One glance at Lucius and he knows that I wanted to go. He offered his arm and I hold onto it. We left the cemetery together while I was on deep thought. He opened the door for me before going around to the driver's seat. I also removed my sun glasses.

Before he started the engine, I spoke "Lucius" he look quiet startled when I softly called his name. For the past days, I never initiated a talk. I only answer with a nod or short phrases. 

"Why? Need anything? Water?" he answered and stared directly at my eyes, slightly worried. I can't stand his gray eyes so I looked outside the car to avoid his stare "I'm just wondering why do you keep on taking care of me? Why do always stayed beside me? What's your reason?" I asked him with the question that's been running in my mind. 

I glanced at him for a second before looking outside again. I saw him frowning a bit. Before answering, he looked also on where I was staring "To be honest, I really don't know. I just feel like you need someone who'll stay beside you and I want to be that 'someone'" he answered

I nodded "You won't be getting anything in return from me, Lucius. So you can stop right now. I'll try to handle everything by myself" I gazed at him while saying that gently "I'm really thankful for what you did, you've been a great help but I don't want to trouble you anymore" I added, my eyes still at him who's looking outside.

He didn't answered so I just fixed my eyes outside the car again. We both stayed silent. I love the silence around Lucius, it's like I'm in peace despite of the chaos and mess inside my head. He was lost in deep thought so I didn't talk. He's been really patient with me while I'm on my darkest days, although I'm still there today but for the past days, he slightly gave light and comfort. I'm really thankful to him. I liked his company but I want to give him a choice. A choice that he can leave if we want to, I don't want to stop him from doing what he want.

"Sorry" he said after a really long silence. I knew it. It's sad but there are really people who will not stay for a long time but the time I spent with Lucius will never be forgotten also. He's been a good friend. I tried to put on a fake smile so he will not feel guilty and was about to say something but,

"Did I made you feel that you're a bother to me? I'm sorry. I'll try to work on that" I got completely shocked. Is this guy for real? Mom, Dad, are you hearing Lucius right now? I didn't expected that answer from him. I thought he'll say sorry and just drop me off at our house.

I don't know how to answer so I just looked back outside, think what he just said. He's still worrying about me? I was thinking about him, actually. He was lost in deep thought thinking about that? What the hell?

"I told you that I'll never let you go, so I'll stick to my promise" I got embarass on the memory where I asked him that so I didn't looked at him.

"Whatever. Let's just go" then I wore my seatbelt out of the embarassment I felt. He did the same and after checking on me, he started driving. I thought we were going straight home but he went to a drive thru.

"Want do you want?" he asked while we are behind another car who's ordering. I shook my head although I want fries and sundae.

He nodded before slowly driving forward. The crew asked him what's his order and my forehead creased when he ordered two of each. While we're waiting for our order to be prepared, I asked him "I shook my head, why did you ordered two?"

"Women are confusing. It doesn't mean that you shook your head, it means no. It's obvios that you want food" he calmly answered while one of his arms are on the steering wheel while the other his leaned on the window.

I rolled my eyes and rest my back on my seat. Suit himself then. I crossed my arms and closed my eyes. I heard him paying and recieving the order, then we drove off. Few minutes later, I felt the car stopped. I thought we're in their house but when I opened my eyes we're on a park. There's only few people there since it's a weekday. 

He went out holding the food in his hand and he then walked over to my side to open the door for me. I looked up to meet his grayish eyes "Did your house moved here?" 

"Nope. I just want you to unwind. You've been stuck in that house for too long, you need fresh air" then he bent down to remove my seatbelts by himself and pulled me gently to go out. I rolled my eyes while he's pulling me to the bench under the shade of a tree. The wind is blowing through my hair and dress again. 

I sat on the bench and he did the same. He gave me a drink and I accepted it. I took a deep breathe to admire and feel the fresh air. The sun is still shining brightly in that ocean blue sky with white clouds draping on it. I watched how the leaves danced through the wind. I can hear some birds chirping and saw some flocks of them flying in one direction. There are couples away from us enjoy their time together. I wish I'm with my family today, it's a great day but of course I'm trying to accept that they are on a way better place than this.

"I want to go to school tomorrow" I told Lucius out of nowhere while looking up to the sky. 

"That's good. I'll drive you there, then" he answered and I glanced at him. He's eating french fries now while watching my moves. "Do you want me to pick your things at your house?" he added while handing the fries to me.

"Nope" I answered and once again I gazed on the blue sky "I think I want to sleep there tonight" I softly said to him while I ate.

"You will?" I nodded "Do you have extra room there?" he asked once more. I can't help but let out a quick smile. 

"Why? You're sleeping there too?" I asked back and leaned my back on the bench. I crossed my legs and calmly look at the scenery. Yes, Lucius did help me to unwind. 

"Can I?" 

"You can't" then I gave him a short smile. "I want to be alone in that house for a night" I want to let out some feeling alone. I like Lucius' company but it doesn't changed the fact that my family's death is painful and I'm still on the phase where I'm taking everything and accepting it slowly.

I saw him nodding, "Okay, but call me if you need anything. I mean, anything."

Lucius is really the opposite of his intimidating and strong features. He's really kind and thoughtful. "I don't have your number" I said to him.

"You have. I put it in your phone" I raised my eyebrow when he told me that. "You used my phone?" 

"I didn't opened anything I just typed my number" then he raised his arms as a sign of surrender. I smiled again then he slowly put it down when he saw that I'm not mad. 

"You look really good when smiling" he complimented.

"Are you saying that I look horrible when I'm not?" I raised my brows at him again.

This time he smirked and leaned his back on the bench too "Don't twist my words, woman"

I just smiled at him and looked at the sky again. "Lucius" I called him once again after a few moments that I got immersed on staring at the sky. "Yes?" his deep voice answered me.

I glanced and gave him a sincere smile "Thank you so much for staying and not leaving me." I told him while looking directly at his gray orbs. I really am thankul for him.