Chapter 4

"Your relatives are looking for you, Rylie" I continued staring at the window despite of what tito Lenard just told me. Three days has passed since my family left me. The funeral was being held in our house since two days ago. I haven't gone there 'cause I'm still in the middle of taking everything in. Things just happened so fast. My relatives are getting mad at me since I haven't showed up there yet. I got tired of their calls so I just turned off my phone.

I don't even left this room since I woke up from here. Lucius is the one who brings my food and make sure that I will eat. He also picked up my clothes from ate Loren so I can take a bath. Since the day that I cried in his shoulder, he's been with me most of the time to take care of me. There is also one time that I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw him sleeping uncomfortably in the couch near the balcony door. I felt really thankful and sorry for him.

"I don't want to go" I told him in a low voice while still looking outside the window. I told Lucius to close this but he kept it open, since I don't want to argue with him, I just live with it. Today, the vivid blue sky was dappled with clouds. I'm sitting at the bed with half of my body covered with blankets while admiring the sky. I wish I could go there, because there's no pain or sadness in that place.

I felt tito Lenard sat beside me. He put his arms around my shoulders before kissing the top of my head. This is the same way my dad used to do whenever he leaves. Why do I always remember my late dad on tito Lenard's actions? I closed my eyes and imagined my dad doing it. I imagined my dad sitting beside me and hugging me. It lifted my mood a bit but it was short lived. Their death echoed in my head so I quickly opened my eyes and see the bright weather ouside opposite to what I'm feeling.

"I understand. Call me when you need anything, okay?" I didn't answer him or gave a nod. He just stood up and left knowing I don't talk much. For the past days, opening my mouth and pushing myself to talk just tire the hell out of me. So, I just spent my time staring outside the window, staring at the wall or crying under the sheets.

Few moments passed, this time Lucius entered the room after knocking three times. He's wearing a white button down shirt with its sleeves folded to his elbows, black slacks and a pair of black shoes. He's has some paper bags in his hand. He met my eyes and went near me. He took a chair and placed it beside the bed I was staying at. 

For the past three days, this is the only moment that I'll take a look at his face for a long time. I just realized that he has the face that could make some girls stop on their tracks and swoon. His black hair is brushed back that highlighted his strong and defined features. He has dark eyebrows that are sloped downward making him look serious and intimidating. His thick eyelashes emphasized his eyes that are on the prettiest shade of gray. He also has well defined nose and chin, angled and sharp jaws, and of course, his soft and reddish lips that are captivating. 

He looked confused on how I examined his face but he didn't pointed that out. Maybe he's used to people, particularly girls, looking closely at him. We have been only together for few days but on top of his handsome face is a beautiful heart who took care of me.

"Are you hungry?" he asked using his deep voice. Despite of the praises inside of my head, I ignored his question and continued to watch outside the window. He should blame his self for keeping the window open, now, I can ignore them and look here instead.

"I brought some donuts just in case you're hungry" the way how he took care of me is very far from his imposing and intimidating stance "Also, I bought some dress for you" he added and I felt him placing a paper bag in my lap. I frowned and take a look at it. I saw the name of a high end brand on it.

I took out the white casual sleeveless dress. "I also bought a denim jacket just in case you get cold" then he placed another paper bag from another high end store beside the first one. I just glanced at it before putting the dress back inside.

"Take it back. I don't need it" I told him, pissed. First, I don't want someone buying things for me from a high end store when they can buy it for much more cheaper prize. Second, I'm just staying in this room, why do I need a dress and a jacket?

"Rylie, you need it" he told me. I gave him a glare but he just look directly at my eyes not minding the glare I gave him "Is this want you want? Stay in this room forever?" I was taken aback when he sounded a little mad "I will understand if you will keep giving us a silent treatment. But Rylie, I will hate to see you regretting for not going in your family's funeral." his voice came back from being a little mad to a gentle deep voice. 

I still don't talk and continued glaring at him. I am mad at him. Why does he need to say that? Why does he need to say something that is true? I am starting to question myself. Can I handle another regret?

"I am not forcing you to become alright all of a sudden, Rylie Jordynn" he added looking so serious. My name just sounded so good everytime he say it.

I took a deep breath before picking the paper bag of the white dress. I silently left the bed and went to the bathroom to change. While I was undressing myself my tears are falling. I feel both grateful and mad at Lucius. 

He's been really patient with me for the past days but whenever I do something that he thinks will not be good, he just tell it to my face. It hurts me whenever he told me the truth of the possible outcome of my actions. I just can't help but to be mad and grateful. I know that I'll regret it if I won't be able to see my family before their burial but I don't know if I could handle seeing them lifeless with my own naked eye.

I calmed myself and wore the dress he bought. It falls above my knees and fits me perfectly. I tied my hair in a bun with some hairs falling. I washed my face before going out. Lucius is sitting on a chair just beside the bathroom. He stood up when he saw me went out. 

He's holding the jacket and a box of shoes. I watched him as he opened it and take out a pair of black strappy block heel sandals. He put it on the ground just near my feet. He bent down but before he'll do what I think he'll do, I spoke  "I can wear it by myself" and I irritably showed my hands in his face and bent down to wear the shoes. He stood up straight and just stared up me.

After I finished wearing the shoe I stood up straight. At 5'3, my eye level is only at his chest area. I've only noticed how tall he is right now. 

"Are not gonna wear this?" Lucius asked pertaining to the denim jacket he's holding. Still, I didn't talk, I just grabbed it from his hand and wore it. After that I turned my back to get out of the room.

This will be the first time I'll see the house since I never left that room and when they brought me here I am unconscious. I only know that my room is on the second floor. When I opened the door, there's a long hallway. I don't know which way I'll go, left or right? I glanced at Lucius and when he noticed that I don't know where I should go he walked passed me and lead the way to the right. I followed him and we then reached the stairs.

Tito Lenard house is really big, it's design is minimal and modern. My dad told me that his bestfriend isn't married since he can't get over from his first love who went to Switzerland and married someone else. So maybe he just invested in this house. He's an engineer too like my father.

I let out a deep sigh when I remembered my dad. I'm missing his story time and corny jokes.

There's a chandelier hanging in the middle of the wide living room and there are few maids cleaning there. Lucius greeted them before walking to the front door. There's a few steps before we can go to his car that is parked at the front. 

He opened the door for me and put his hand over my head just in case I bump my head in the car roof. When I went it, he jogged his way to the driver's seat. I wore my seatbelt when he went in. He did the same before starting the engine and driving off. The guard opened the gates for us then we hit the road.

I looked outside the car window and watched the houses, trees, dogs and people as we passed through them. The sunlight hit my face and I closed my eyes to feel it. This is one of the habits of my brother, James. One time I asked him why can't he just avoid it, then he answered me that why does he need to avoid it when he can just feel it. I really miss them. I leaned my head on the window as I drifted to sleep with the memories of my family.

I woke up from my short nap when I felt someone gently tapping my cheeks. I opened my eyes and saw Lucius. There's a pillow hanging around my neck that I removed before looking outside. We arrived at our house. There's plenty of cars parked outside and few people wearing black and white are talking on our frontyard. By just the sight of the house, my heart started thumping fast, my hands started shaking, I can feel myself sweating and my feet are getting cold. 

"Hey" Lucius gently called my attention "Relax, Rylie. No pressure" he added while his gray eyes are staring directly at mine. He glanced at my shaking hands, he seemed contemplating whether he should hold it or not but still, he chose to softly grabbed and hold onto it. He stared at my face again "Breathe" he reminded. 

"Inhale" His hold tightened when I took a deep breathe and he did the same "Exhale" we both breathe out. We did it for a couple of times and when he felt like my hands aren't shaking anymore, he let go of it. I stared at his hands while he's talking to me "We'll gonna go when you're ready" I heard him but my focus is in his hands. I felt abandoned when he let go.

Lucius saw me staring at his hands so he held my hands again. I feel comforted while he's rubbing his thumb on my knuckles. He looked worried and serious at the same time because of my panic attack. There are tears that are threatening to fall from my eyes, I can feel it.

Few minutes passed and I think I'll be able to enter the house "I think we can go now" I told Lucius in a soft voice. I'm so embarass. I've been giving a cold shoulder to Lucius a while ago and now I am relying on him. I don't know anymore. It feels good that I have someone who could hold my hand.

He nodded before glancing at my tight hold "I'm gonna let go of you for a minute so we can leave" he explained and I let go of his hands. He quickly went out of the car and run around to open the door for me. He offered his hand and I accepted it. He covered my head while I get out of the car. 

When I'm completely out and standing in front of the house with my hand on his, people that are standing at the front yard looked at me and when they recognized me, they stared with pure pity. I tightened my hold on Lucius.

"Water?" he worriedly asked at me. I shook my head and still staring at the people who's watching me. I hate the pity that is evident in their eyes. "Do you want to go back in the car for a moment?" he once again asked. I shook my head as an answer.

He blocked my sight with his body and bent down a little so he can be on my eye level. Now, I can only see his gray eyes again, "What do you need?"

I look down at our hands before staring directly at his eyes "Please don't let go of me" I requested in a low voice It's embarassing but that's what I need right now. I need someone who'll never leave me.

He smiled for a little bit and then turned serious again "Don't worry, I won't"