One sided love

Moving on from detention in the days that followed I had several dates with Khalil and also took some time to hang out with Jacob and get him out of his depressed mood. Maybe I should have been more distant with Jacob, maybe I should have told him that I was dating Khalil while I still had a clear chance, maybe I should have just told the truth from the beginning but there was no way to change anything now since it was hitting me head on. It was a morning like any other Jacob had began going to school again for awhile and summer break was just around the corner. Khalil invited me to a summer trip with his family to Miami and I agreed so I had been packing for weeks in advance.

Having been busy with school and my relationship I sort of distanced myself from Jacob but it was not as if I was the only one since Jacob was also super busy with catching up on the work he missed. Despite this distance whenever our parents wanted to video chat Jacob and I would quickly get ready to look the part with him wearing the clothes in which my Dad has sent him and me wearing his hoodie since it gave off the "happy couple" vibe. These video calls were always torture for the two of us seeing as we had to act all lovey dovey and not as though we had zero interest in each other but during a recent video chat my troubles only got worse as Jacob did something totally uncalled for. It was the week before break and I couldn't wait for the Miami trip and Jacob very much knew about it since I told him in advance that I was going on a trip but I didn't go into details as to with whom and he didn't ask so when our parent called I was ready to get the call over with and continue with my preparations. Having accepted the call I scooted closer to Jacob and he put his arm around me having his mom giggle in delight "I see the my future daughter in law is taking full advantage of her alone time" I let out a tired laugh and put my hands over my face pretending to be embarrassed. "Now now mom you don't have to call her out like that" Jacob chuckled "Well Jacob I expect that you've been treating my daughter like the princess she is before I have to come down there and teach you a lesson" We all laughed but I just wanted to tell my Father off cause he knows that even if Jacob was treating me poorly the money he'd gain from our marriage would overrule how I was feeling just as how this entire arrangement had went. "I would never do anything of the sort" Jacob replied squeezing me tighter which sort of made me uncomfortable since he had always made the effort to keep some sort of distance "In fact I was thinking that we could go on a trip for vacation that way we could explore somewhere new together since it would help us to trust one another more". I was shocked what does he mean vacation I already told him that I had plans so where was this coming from I balled my hand into a fist away from the cameras view "I don't think that a trip is really necessary I mean we already trust and care for each other so much" Jacob without glancing in my direction continued "Oh come on what's a little vacation gonna do and we are getting married soon seeing as your birthday is months away so this could be a sort of pre-honeymoon". He pressed his arm against me even tighter but I roughly pushed it away making it seem although I was just hot but before I could speak Jacob's Dad added to the conversation.

"I think that is a wonderful idea! This could be the extra assurance that we all need for this marriage to continue" and with that our parents started to discuss potential vacation areas settling on none other than Miami. I of course tried to protest but every time I tried Jacob would overrule me and even went ahead to end the video call after wishing our parents a good day. As soon as he shut the laptop close I sprung out of my seat and quickly took off and threw the hoodie at Jacob "What the hell! I already told you I had plans to go on vacation with someone else! WHY WOULD U DO THIS!" Having let me get my anger out Jacob looked up at me with a slight tenderness in his eyes "I know and I'm sorry I just needed a chance to truly get to know you and maybe  progress our relationship." OK now I was even more confused then angry "What do you mean progress our relationship? Isn't it fine the way it is". Jacob shook his head his face turning a bit red as he tried not to meet my eyes.

"Well while I do enjoy our friendship I was hoping for something...more" I almost fell backwards where is this coming from just a few months ago we were planning to fake our marriage now he's here confessing? Jacob could obviously tell that I was both shocked and confused so he motioned for me to sit on the chair as he took a seat on the one across "I should start from the beginning. Well its true that at first I had no interest in truly being with you and was more than ready to go our separate ways but after my breakup you were always there for me making sure that I was okay and even covering for me. Having gotten over my ex I started to feel differently towards you with my heart pounding if we even had the slightest of contact making living together that much harder. So I distanced myself which was easy since I had so much work to catch up on but during that time I missed you even more and now I can no longer hide how I feel." He looked up to meet my wide eyes I really hoped he wouldn't say it, I didn't want to hear it, I wanted this to be some sick joke but sadly it wasn't. "Hope...I love you and want to marry you for real" I couldn't say anything there was too much to process so I just got up and ran to my room.

I slammed the door after me as I slid to the ground my head spinning. Jacob ran after me knocking on my door and begging me to come out but I couldn't face him not now so I screamed at him to leave me alone which he eventually did. A few hours had passed and I couldn't bring myself to leave my room in order to get something to eat but I didn't have to since Jacob left me a plate of food outside my door and making sure that he left I opened my door slightly and grabbed the plate to eat that way I could think more clearly. Jacob loves me...Jacob loves me... These works kept echoing in my head not because of some strike of emotion that made me realize that I loved him too I mean come on this wasn't some cheesy fairy tail no this was my life that is going from a dysfunctional but manageable thing to what is now a complicated mess. The only thing that I was absolutely sure of was that I did not have any feelings towards Jacob with my heart fully belonging to Khalil as it has always been and I intend to still be with him. I did consider telling Jacob about Khalil but quickly changed my mind I mean after my Father's threats I couldn't risk Jacob having his eyes out for Khalil and even though I trusted Khalil and knew he would understand my situation that was the problem. I couldn't drag Khalil into my families mess and even if he could understand what could he do about my wedding no I couldn't crush him like that this wedding was something that Jacob and I had to end. Having tried to make sense of everything in my head I decided that I still wasn't ready to face Jacob but I'll talk to him tomorrow so that we've both had some time to think things over and with that I went to bed.

Waking up I was determined to get Jacob to understand the fact that I still and would never have feelings for him and if necessary that I have been dating Khalil. After getting myself ready I went to the living room to be met by Jacob with a bouquet of flowers and the place covered in roses, cards, and chocolates but while most girls would feel blushful and special this just made me feel that much more overwhelmed. Jacob took a deep breath but before he could speak I put my hand in the air indicating for him to stop "Look Jacob your really cool and I enjoy spending time with you but I don't love you...I don't have any romantic feeling for you I actually love someone else. I have for awhile now." Jacobs face fell into despair as tears rolled down his face "B-but..." this was something I couldn't watch. It wouldn't be fair for me to lie and say I care for him more than a friend and he had no right to force me to so I left gently closing the door behind me.