Sooner than later

As I neared the apartment I began to be overwhelmed with dread and this gut retching feeling that I was in for a huge problem. Turns out I was right and probably shouldn't have even opened the door cause the moment I did I was met by the dissatisfied looks on not only Jacob's face but also those of both our parents. My Father was the first to speak as he gave me a cold glare that made chills run down my spine "Well if it isn't my dear daughter it seems you have been making some irresponsible choices during the time we've been apart" as he said this Jacob's Father Daverick Hao cleared his throat making me certain that he would speak next. "Yes, and it would seem my son may also be at fault for your recent actions as he has informed us of your past plans" My eyes widened as I shot Logan a cold stare before turning back to face his Father "So? You know that we didn't want to get married if anything that should make you want to cancel-" but before I could finish Jacob's Mom cut in "The wedding is still taking place. That will not be changed and while Jacob did admit to not wanting to marry you at first he has now grown fond of the idea and wants it to continue seeing as he now loves you." I balled my hands into a fist and waited for a few seconds before responding because I knew that if I didn't take a breather I might have swung at one of them. "He loves me...so what that doesn't change how I feel and what is that you may ask well that would be hatred. I despise your son with every bone in my body and count the days until he's out of my life." After saying this the entire room fell quiet, everyone was shocked by what I had just said with Jacob's Dad's face showing signs of irritation. Jacob on the other hand was not shocked whatsoever since he has known this for a while already as he keeps his head hanging low.

I grew tired of this whole situation and was not in the mood to look at any of their faces especially Jacob's so I attempted to make my way to my room but before I could a hand firmly gripped my wrist. It was my Dad "You are not going anywhere! You are going to sit down and listen for a change!" his grip was growing tighter by the second so I attempted to pull myself free but that didn't work his grip was too strong so I instead picked my head to face him and give him a piece of my mind. "YOU HAVE NO SAY IM HOW I LIVE MY LIFE! I SAID IT ONCE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN THIS ISN'T FOR YOU TO DECIDE AND ILL BE DAMNED TO LET YOU RUIN MY LIFE!" to this my Father didn't say anything and instead just threw my into the near chair. "I AM DOING YOU A FAVOR! YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF MAKING YOUR OWN DECISIONS AND THIS TRIP IS JUST MORE PROOF OF THAT SINCE YOU FAILED TO LEAVE THAT BOYFRIEND OF YOURS LIKE I ORDERED-!" there was no way I was going to take a lecture from him on who I was going to be with "ORDERED! ORDERED! SOUNDS LIKE I'M A SERVANT RATHER THAN YOUR DAUGHTER!-" but before I could finish my Father once again grabbed my wrist and pulled me up so that we were face to face "WELL I WISH THAT WAS TRUE CAUSE YOUR NO DAUGHTER OF MINE!" I was stunned for a few moments as I processed what he just said and honestly I don't even know why because after all these years I knew my Father didn't see me as his daughter but hearing it out loud hurt me more deeply than I thought it would. After my Father finally let go of my wrists he turned and apologized to the Hao's for causing a scene to which they nodded in understanding having Jacob's Father being the first to speak. "Well Hope whether you like it or not you will marry my son and to make sure that there are no more unexpected surprises your wedding has been pushed up to next week seeing as you turn 18 tomorrow."

At this point I was done I no longer wanted to be in any of their presence, I didn't want them to be around me, and more than anything I was not about to give them anymore of my time. So without saying another word I just made my way to my room and unsurprisingly none of them called for me but it wasn't like I would answer them anyway. The moment that I locked my door I just threw myself on my bed shoes still on and burst out crying I couldn't believe that this would be my life, a never-ending cycle of misery that would crush any and all happiness that I find. After a few hours had passed I eventually ran out of tears just leaving me to lay there my eyes red and puffy. Jacob did try to talk to me at some point through the door but I yelled at him to go away and to refresh the fact that I would never love him. In the mist of feeling like utter trash I got a text from none other than Khalil.

'Hey Love~

I miss you I know its only been a few hours and your probably sick of me by now but I wanted to talk to you for a bit'

I just laid there my phone in my hand staring  at his text message and it was at this moment that I decided to no longer lead him on. I was being selfish and only thinking about my own happiness instead of putting myself in Khalil's shoes I mean how would I feel if I found out that in the entire time that I was dating someone I loved they were engaged with another person. I couldn't hurt him anymore than I would in this moment so with trembling fingers I typed and sent Khalil my last message before blocking him on everything.

'I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore.

This may be out of the blue but I want to break up...we need to break up.

You will always have my heart but this is the end for us.

Goodbye for good Khalil'

After sending that message I burst out crying once again just when I thought I didn't have anymore tears left they all came running down as my heart ached uncontrollably. I love him I really do and even though it's painful beyond compassion this was the right thing to do because I couldn't have him if it meant that I wouldn't keep him. The next day went by in a blur it was my birthday but I was miserable with me only remembering a few moments from Jacob and our parents throwing me a huge surprise party in a grand hall but me just being there because I was forced to. Jacob tried leaning in for a kiss several times throughout the day but I dodged every time and at the end of the night Jacob's Mom made some speech about our wedding with Jacob putting his hand around me making my skim crawl. The next few days were a blur of wedding preparations that I put absolutely no thought into but it wasn't like my input would have made a difference anyway. Despite all my despair the day of my wedding finally arrived the supposed "happiest day of my life".

I was dressed with the help of 25 different bridesmaids whom I have never even met before probably just some girls my Dad...I mean Mr. Hansson hired to make me look popular. I'll admit that the dress was stunning it had a diamond embedded top the glistened when hit by light, a silk bottom that had layers upon layer to create a ruffled rose look when I walk down the aisle, and a crown pin that they clipped in the back of my head to hold my hair together. On the topic of my hair it was done is a rope bun with a braid being secured by the diamond crown pin with my front being curled and neatly put in place. After helping to get me ready my bridesmaids went on their way to prepare themselves and for who knows how long I just sat in front of my the mirror staring at myself my eyes dull, my mind blank, and my heart broken damn did I really hate the idea of love at that moment because no matter how hard I tried Khalil slipped into my mind. But to make sure to not ruin my makeup I forced myself to push him out my mind and remind myself that I would be married in a few moments so even if my heart never forgot him at least let him disappear from my mind.

Mr. Hansson came in and snapped me out of my daze "Well don't you look absolutely amazing. I'm sure Jacob will agree so let's not keep him waiting Mrs. Hao" he said this with a wink and I really couldn't care less about anything he had to say. "Let's just go" I didn't look him in the eye and just wrapped my hand around his as he walked me down the aisle to Jacob who was standing at the alter. He was in the standard black suit with the only thing different about him being that instead of leaving his hair to be slightly messy he gelled everything down in a curve motion towards his face. Once we got to the alter Mr. Hansson shaked hands with Jacob before heading to his seat next to Jacob's parents in the front row. Jacob guided me into place as he held both my hands and stared deep into my eyes which make me feel sick but to act the part I plastered on a smile and continued to face him. The time for vows came and upon our parents request this part would be skipped which was the only good idea that they had came up with throughout the entire day so we both slid on each others rings. Both were equally as flashy with the diamond on mine weighing down my finger a bit but now came the most difficult part of the night as I heard the phrase "You may now kiss the bride".

I could see that Jacob's face began to flush red as he pulled me closer but as he kissed me I felt nothing except for disturbed so I made sure to cut off the kiss quickly and in a way that it wouldn't be noticeable. Well except for Jacob but I couldn't care less if he felt a certain way about me doing so. After the whole ceremony we were suppose to attend a party celebrating our marriage but on our way there Jacob stopped abruptly causing me to stop as well since our arms were intertwined. "You guys go ahead my wife and I have some important business to attend you" the faces of my bridesmaids grew a bit red as Jacob friends shot him looks of approval with one even patting his back. I knew what he met but there was no way in hell anything would happen between us tonight. As expected he had the limo driver take us to some extensive hotel that his parents owned where we were lead to the VIP suit but to the surprise of none the entire floor was empty probably Jacob's doing. Inside our room was very spacious but the annoying aspect was that there was only one bed but at least it was vast in size. Before Jacob could say anything I made my way to the bathroom to get changed.

Having predicted that something like this would happen I wore some shorts and a t-shirt under my wedding dress. After exited the bathroom I was met with a confused Jacob "Is that how your choosing to dress?" I shot him a cold and disgusted glare before laying in the bed. "I am going to sleep after all so I might as well be comfortable" as I got situated Jacob hopped onto of the bed while undoing some of his shirts buttons "I was thinking that we could do something more fun. Sleeping seems a little boring especially since we just got married don't you think." I could feel him moving closer with every breath but before he could lay a hand on me I grabbed his wrist and without even bothering to look at him I told him to back off "I'm not interested in doing ANYTHING with you. You can just move yourself to the other side and go to sleep because this being our wedding night I'm in an especially bad mood." having said what I needed I let go of his wrist. After doing so Jacob quickly went to the bathroom, got changed, and laid on the other side of the bed as I said and so begins my journey into a marriage lifestyle that I never ask for nor wanted.