Loving Red Perez

NAGPAKAWALA ng isang malalim na buntong hininga si Red at pagkuwan ay tulalang pinagmasdan ang sarili sa full-length mirror niya. Salubong ang mga kilay at pinipilit na supilin ang inis na nararamdaman dahil sa muling pagtunog ng kanyang cellphone.

It was her mother, Alexandra. Ilang beses na itong tumatawag pero hindi niya magawang sagutin. Ayaw niya dahil mas mananaig ang inis niya rito. For the record, she doesn't know how to erase the frustration building in her at the moment.

Kagabi pa siya nito kinukulit patungkol sa lunch meeting kasama ang long time friend nito. At hindi niya alam kung bakit nadamay pa siya at pilit siyang isasama sa lunch meeting ng mga ito. Hindi siya tinantanan ng kanyang ina hangga't hindi siya napapayag nito sa gustong mangyari.

Red knew that she can't go against her mother. Alexandra is just so cunning as hell and it is what irritates her the most.

Minsan na siyang hindi sumunod sa gusto ng kanyang ina kung kaya't humarap siya sa isang napakalaking pagsubok. For Pete's sake she was grounded for a month because she didn't show up to a dinner date her mom tried so hard to settle. Red hated the idea that's why she abandoned that dinner date. Of course, it sent havoc to her mom when it reached her that even her shadow didn't show up. Kaya wala siyang nagawa nang parusahan siya nito.

"You're one month grounded, Alexandria!" Maotoridad na saad ng kanyang ina bago kunin ang lahat ng gadgets niya at pabalya pang isinara ang pinto ng kanyang kwarto.

Red just groaned in frustration. Hell! She's just too old to be grounded. Bentes sais na siya't itinuturing pa rin siyang parang teenager nito. Wala na siyang nagawa kundi ang magmukmok sa bahay nila at magsulat ng mga nakatenggang nobela niya. She's thankful as hell that she has still something to do to ease her boredom because of the grounded scheme her mother played well.

And Alexandra is back to her business again! She knew how cunning her mother can be that's why she just decided to agree with her. She will go to that lunch meeting and even the gods and goddesses of Olympus can tell how much she hated the idea.

Alam niyang kapag hindi siya sumipot ay may gagawing hindi maganda ang ina niya. At hindi niya hahayaang may gawin ito lalo pa't marami siyang mga gustong gawin na maaari nitong pakialaman kapag hindi nasunod ang gusto.

Damn it for being an only child. Her mind said.

 "I hate my life." Walang buhay na sambit ni Red bago kunin ang cellphone sa bedside table niya.

3 missed calls. 5 text messages. Lahat galing sa mama niya. Hindi na niya inabala ang sariling buksan ang mga mensahe nito sa halip ay initsa na lang niya ang cellphone sa bag pack.

Muli niyang tiningnan ang sarili sa salamin. She just smiled evily. Alam niyang maghi-hysterical ang kanyang ina kapag nakita ang suot niya. Isang ugaling naiinisan niya rin patungkol sa ina. Being so cunny, her mother is also sophisticated, well-groomed, and a perfectionist one. At talagang away lang ang mangyayari sa pagitan nila kapag minamanduhan siya nito kapag may mali sa mga kilos niya partikular sa mga suot niya.

At alam niyang hindi nito papalampasin ang suot ngayon. Well, she is wearing a tattered jeans and a statement shirt that says, "DAMN HONEY, I BREAK RULES." Pinaresan niya rin ito ng white converse shoes at sukbit pa niya ang bag pack. She's sure as hell of what will happen to her later but she didn't mind.

"Great. I look great." She said before letting out a hearty chuckle. Isinuot niya ang aviators at agad na umalis ng kwarto. To top it all, she's going to use her Duccati big bike to complete her get up.

My my mother, I break rules. Her mind said wickedly.

SAMPUNG minuto lang ang itinagal niyang pagbabaybay sa daan at agad niyang ipi-nark ang motor sa parking space ng Sunshine's Haven. Ito ang lugar na sinabi ng kanyang ina. Hindi naman ito kalayuan sa condo niya kaya nag-motor na lang din siya.

Nangunot ang noo ni Red nang makita sa glass wall ang kanyang mga magulang na masayang nagkukuwentuhan kasama ang hindi pamilyar sa kanyang mag-asawa rin. Sa tingin niya ay para nga silang matagal nang hindi nagkita-kita at labis ang mga ngiti sa kanilang mga labi.

She just rolled her eyes heavenwards. Inayos niya ang pagkakasukbit ng bag pack at agad na naglakad papasok sa restaurant na iyon. Hindi siya nahirapang hanapin ang ina niya dahil sa lakas nang tawa nito. As usual, her mother is so engrossed with their little chitchat to the point that she didn't care about her voice getting louder by the moment.

The restaurant is good. Kapansin-pansing nagsisimula pa lang ito dahil iilan pa lang ang makikitang kumakain at hindi pa gaanong fully furnished ang loob. This makes the situation odd. Her mother doesn't settle for less and this restaurant shouldn't be an exception. She always pick a fine-dining restaurant or the top tiers in the food industry and not this kind of newly opened one.

Nagkibit balikat na lang siya. Maybe it's time for a change.

Saktong pagtigil niya sa mesa na inuukupahan ng mga ito ay agad niyang tinanggal ang suot na aviators. Walang imik niyang tiningnan ang reaksyon ng kanyang ina at tama nga siya. Her mother's mouth fell open upon seeing her. Tumaas ang kilay nito at pagkuwan ay nagsalubong kaagad. The look on her mother's face is enough to know the frustration the latter is feeling at the moment. Red looked at her father and was surprised when he is smiling brightly at her. Nakahinga naman siya nang maluwag.

Well, she is a daddy's girl after all. Ito ang kasangga niya sa lahat ng bagay at ang kakampi niya sa tuwing hindi sila nagkaka-unawaan ng kanyang ina.

"Oh my God! Is this Alexandria?" natigil ang pag-iisip niya nang marinig ang boses ng babaeng kaharap ng mga magulang niya.

She looked at the woman. Sa tantsa niya ay hindi masyadong nagkakalayo ang edad nito at ng kanyang ina. Maganda rin ito at sopistikada. She bet her life that they have loads of money hidden in their threshold just by mere judging the woman's clothes.

Designers dress - must have cost half millions. Her mind said.

She smiled awkwardly and nodded. Tumayo naman ang ginang at agad siyang niyakap. Muntik pa siyang mabuwal dahil sa biglaan nitong pagyakap. Mabuti na lang at nakakapit siya sa mesa. Para siyang mawawalan ng hininga dahil sa higpit nang yakap nito at hindi niya maiwasang mapangiwi dahil doon.

"Hon, baka hindi na makahinga si Alexandria niyan," isang kalmado na boses ang nagbalik sa wisyo niya.

Agad namang kumalas sa yakap ang ginang at humingi ng tawad sa kanya. Kahit hindi nito sabihin, alam niyang gigil na gigil itong yakapin siya ulit. Dalawang bagay na nagpapa-isip sa kanya. She barely knew the woman but it feels like she is agitated to meet her.

It's odd. Red can feel it. She can definitely read between the lines. She just can't pinpoint it.

Something is really fishy.

"Astrid and Miguel, this is Red Alexandria Perez, my beautiful daughter," masayang pagpapakilala ng kanyang ina sa kanya sa long-time friends nito---her Tita Astrid and Tito Miguel del Rio.

"Oh! It's so nice to finally meet you, hija!" Kapagkuwan ay saad ng kanyang Tita Astrid bago ginagap ang kamay niya at bahagyang pinisil iyon.

Ngumiti na lang siya bago tumango. She was lost with words. Naiilang siya dahil sa trato ng mga ito sa kanya. Parang may mali.

"Kumusta ka, Red?"

Napatingin naman siya sa Tito Miguel niya. Mataman siya nitong tiningnan kaya mas nadagdagan ang nararamdaman niyang pagka-ilang. Sa tono ng mga ito, para bang matagal na nilang kilala si Red. Pinaglipat-lipat niya ang tingin sa mag-asawa.

Red can't help but to frown when a familiar face popped in her mind by simply looking at them. May namumukhaan siya sa dalawang kaibigan ng ina niya. Pero hindi niya lang maalala kung sino 'yun pero sobrang pamilyar niyon.

"Red?" napukaw ang atensyon niya dahil sa boses ng kanyang Tito Miguel.

"I'm sorry. Ano ho 'yun?" hinging umanhin niya.

Her parents just chuckled and her Tito Miguel grinned at her. Napakamot na lang din siya sa leeg dahil sa pagkakapahiya.

"Kumusta ka, Red? Ilang taon ka na ba?" her Tito Miguel asked.

Ngumiti siya bago sumagot. "Okay lang naman po and twenty six na ho ako. And you can call me, Alex, Tito," she said.

She smiled at them while the latter nodded at her response. Konti lang ang mga tanong ng mga ito sa kanya bago magsimulang mag-kwento ang kanyang mama patungkol sa mga ito. She just listened while her mind is focused on murdering her food. She sighed deeply.

Her mom told her that the four of them were college buddies and yeah, sweethearts. They all went to the same college university and from there, it started everything. Her Tita Astrid is her mom's best friend. Kaya pala madalas itong may katawagan sa telepono at kapag tinatanong niya kung sino, her mom would always say that it's her long time best friend. May mga ibang kaibigan naman ang kanyang ina pero iba ang nakikita niyang galak sa mukha nito ngayon kumpara kapag kasama ang mga kaibigan nito. She can tell that her mom and Tita Astrid were best of friends.

Her father Emmanuel, and her Tito Miguel were brought together by her mom and Tita Astrid. Naging magkaibigan lang ang mga ito dahil kapwa kasintahan ng dalawa. Ito rin ang dahilan kung bakit close na close ang apat sa bawat isa.

Hanggang sa mag-asawa silang apat hindi nawala ang magandang samahan nila. And she knew that her parents love story were the best thing happened to them.

Sabi pa nga ng iba, iilan lang ang nagsu-survive sa mga high school at college love na nagtutuloy sa kasalan na walang hiwalayan na magaganap pagkatapos ng ilang taong pagiging kasal sa isa't isa. Red bet her life that her parents were one of that lucky college love story.

Ang sabi pa nga ng papa niya, "It was a love at first sight." At kita naman na hanggang ngayon ramdam niya pa rin ang pagmamahalan ng dalawa. She can feel her parents love overflowing for each other. It's sweet. Hindi niya maiwasang hindi mainggit sa dalawa. After all, she's in her marrying age now.

For the age of twenty six, her love records can tell how bad she is when it comes to love. She'd been in a numerous faulty relationships. Ilang boyfriends na niya ang nagpatunay niyon mula nang magdalaga siya hanggang sa tumungtong sa kasalukuyang edad. She felt right from the start of her relationships that the guy isn't the one meant for her. Napi-picture out niya ang lahat ng bagay na maaaring mangyari sa mga nakaka-relasyon niya. Masyado nga lang nafo-focus sa mga negative imaginations kung kaya't hindi maiwasang pumalpak at nagre-resulta upang matapos ang relasyon nila ng mga naging boyfriends niya.

She's not a negative thinker. Masyado lang talagang malalim ang kanyang mga imaginations. Nevertheless, it was her from the very start that's why she's one of the many well-paid writers in the country. She and her imaginations alone.

After all, she knew that her relationships were pure infatuations. Wala pa sa kanila ang nagbigay sa kanya ng ideya patungkol sa salitang "marriage". It's a good thing after all. Bata pa siya masyado para magpatali.

This is the argument that she and her mother had been settling since time immemorial. She never wanted to be married at a young age. Bata pa siya kahit bente sais anyos na siya. Marami pa siyang gustong gawin. Red dreamed of having her own publishing company. She wanted it so bad that she defies her mother's idea in hooking her up with some random guys.

God knows how she hated forced marriage or that sort of things. It's an inconvenience. Gusto niyang siya mismo ang makaka-experience ng kagustuhang makasal sa lalaking mahal na mahal niya. Not the other way around.

"Hija?"

Isang mahinang tapik sa balikat ang nakapagpabalik sa kanya sa kasalukuyan. Her Tita Astrid's face greeted her sight. Napakurap-kurap siya bago nakuhang sumagot.

"Po?" litong tanong niya.

Napatawa na lang ang kanyang Tita Astrid. Her cheeks heat up because of embarrassment.

"What do you do for a living, hija?" She cleared her throat at ibinaba ang kubyertos sa pinggan at pagkuwan ay umayos siya ng upo.

At last, we're talking! Her mind chanted.

"I am a well-paid writer," she said with full of confidence. Her Tita Astrid and Tito Miguel's faces looked surprise, so she smiled widely.

Naramdaman niya ang pagpisil ng ina pero hindi niya iyon pinansin. She knew what it meant---her mother wants her to stop her nonsense.

She knows very well that her mother hates her job. Ilang beses na silang nagkasagutan dahil sa pinili niyang trabaho. Her mother insisted that she must run a business. Ang magulang niya na ang bahala sa perang magiging kapital sa itatayo niyang negosyo. After all, she graduated with a Business Administration degree.

Of course, she hated her course! She hated it because it's against her will. Wala siyang nagawa dahil ang mama niya ang pumili ng kursong iyon at sa kadahilanang only child lang siya kung kaya't sa kanya mapag-iiwanan ang mga negosyo ng kanyang pamilya.

Red felt that the world is against her when her father tried to convince her too. Buong akala niya na sa kanya kakampi ang kanyang papa pero nagkamali siya. In the end, her mother won. She took up a business course even though her heart shouts for a communication course.

"She plans to run down a business anytime soon. Alam niyang hobby lang ang pagsusulat," bawi ng ina niya.

Everyone fell quiet. Red knew better. Alam niyang ipagpipilitan ito ng kanyang mama. It was her cunning mother after all. Gusto nito lahat masusunod. She is not an exception to it.

"No, mama." She said while taking a short glance at her mother and back to her Tita Astrid and Tito Miguel. "I know very well that writing isn't just a hobby. It is a significant part of my life, a half of me perhaps. I wouldn't be Red Alexandria Perez kung wala lang sa akin ang pagsusulat. I love writing and I hope you know that. Yes, may balak akong magtayo ng negosyo and I know for myself what I want for a business and that's to have my own publishing company. Pero sa ngayon, hindi pa nagigising ang business spirit ko but I'm okay with what I do for the moment. I'm happy writing stories and that's enough for me."

Red knew it will hurt her mother but she won't just let this slide. Alam niyang hindi na niya gustong magpadikta sa magulang niya. Red can take care of herself now. She just have to let her parents understand what she's fighting for. It's her life after all.

Ramdam niya ang panginginig ng kanyang ina. Isang malagablab na sermon ang aabutin niya pagkarating nila mamaya sa bahay.

"Oh, honey! I love her determination. Sigurado akong magugustuhan talaga siya ni Tim. Our man loves a strong willed woman. They would make a great couple! Nae-excite na rin akong magkaroon ng mga apo! What do you think, balae?" Her Tita Astrid shrieked then dramatically clasped her both hands.

Parang bombang sumabog sa tenga niya ang lahat nang sinabi nito. Her mouth fell open and her eyes, she bet that sooner or later it would come out of its socket. She can't even utter a single word. Nanatili lang ang tingin niya sa masayang mukha ng Tita Astrid niya.

The table went quiet. She is livid for fuck sake!

Tim? Couple? Grandchildren?! Mas lalong lumaki ang pagkakabuka ng bibig niya nang tuluyang maunawaan ang mga sinabi ng huli. She puffed a loud breath before shaking her head.

"Oh God! N-no," Red stuttered as she tries to process everything she heard.

Natigil naman ang pagsasaya ng Tita Astrid niya at tumingin sa gawi niya. She didn't faze. Parang kusang tumigil ang paggalaw ng mundo nang napatakip bigla sa bibig ang ginang.

It was enough to answer all her queries.

"Oh God!" malakas na bulalas niya.

No! They must be joking! Her mind is in haywire.

"Alex," napatingin naman siya sa kanyang papa.

He looked so sorry. She shook her head. What the hell is happening?

"No, Papa. You know... God! W-what? Oh for fuck sake!"

Maski siya ay hindi niya maapuhap ang dapat na sasabihin. She was lost with words. This is not happening to her! Nang akmang hahawakan siya ng kanyang ina ay agad siyang tumayo. She wants to get out of here! Para siyang sasabog dahil sa bigat ng nararamdaman niya.

They can't just... oh God! Her mind kicked in again.

"Alex!" Her mother's voice broke but she didn’t mind it anymore.

She was about to walk away when her mother pulled her wrist. As if on cue, the door chime rang and it revealed a familiar figure of a man.