Chapter Nine

"HI, this is Marie! Please leave a message after the beep. Beep."

"Marie, please book me a ticket to Shandong right away. I mean it." I said before ending the voice message.

Napapikit akong muli at ilang sandali bago muli akong nagmulat. Napabuntong hininga ako nang malalim at pinagmasdan ang dingding. Ilang oras na mula nang umalis si Fallon sa condo ko pero wala pa rin ako sa tamang wisyo. Paulit-ulit na nagplay sa utak ko ang mga salitang binitawan niya.

My insides churned as I think of dark scenarios in my head. I feel so light headed right now. I don't think I have the strength to do the things I planned for this day. Ang kaninang sigla ko ay napalitan na lang ng pangamba.

I just hope that what he said isn't true but I highly doubt it. I have known Fallon for years in the limelight. He was and is still known as a ruthless, cunning, and empowered business man as what I've read in the internet. He doesn't spew nonsense things. What he said is likely true and I can't fathom every word he said.

I am scared for what will happen. I am scared for what will it cost me this time. Funny how I want to make myself get away from their endless chains but I don't think that I'm really free to do things on my own without their endless disapproval.

My eyes watered but I didn't let any single tear fall. If it will be a card for me being powerless then I will not shed a single tear for them. My tears are precious for it was my power source when I had nothing for the past years. Ang pagluha ko bawat gabing mag-isa ako sa bansang banyaga sa akin ay ang nagbigay sa akin ng sapat na katatagan para ipagpatuloy ang buhay.

I breathed heavily as I decided to stand up. Walang mangyayari sa akin kung magmumukmok lang ako at hindi sa gustong kong may mangyaring masama. I just need to counter what's inevitable.

Itinali ko ang may kahabaan kong buhok sa isang messy bun at naglakad papunta sa walk-in closet ko. I took out my red velvet tube top and boot cut jeans. I wore a comfortable running shoes. Hindi na ako nag-abalang maglagay ng make up at aksesorya sa katawan. I am already beautiful even without make up.

I looked at myself in the mirror and nodded.

Yes. I'm Red Alexandria Perez and nothing will come to my way, not even that Fallon Timothy del Rio.

Kaagyat akong umalis sa condo ko. I'm heading to someone who can help me with what I'm dealing right now. Hindi na ako nag-abalang sabihan siya na dadalaw ako. It will be a fucking surprise visit anyway.

I drove my Ducati big bike not minding about my outfit. Ang medyo mainit sa balat na sinag ng araw ay hindi nakapagpatigil sa akin. Wala pang bente minuto ay natunton ko na ang apartment ni Raiya.

I parked my baby along the sidewalk and walked towards her door. Ilang katok ang ginawa ko bago niya ako pagbuksan at gaya nang inaasahan ko...

"Holy mother fuck! What the fuck are you doing here?" she is almost screaming as her almond eyes are wide eyed.

I craned my neck to the side and pushed her inside.

"Code Red." I said as I walked inside and closed the door.

"What the actual fuck, Red? P-paanong? Kelan ka pa rito sa Pilipinas? Are you fucking kidding me?" Raiya ask-shouted at me as she hold both my shoulders, slightly shaking me.

I breathed loudly as I look at her straight in the eyes.

"Do you think I'm fucking kidding you right now, Shabraiya?" I asked her back seriously.

"Fuck! Just fuck," she cursed once again.

Bumuntong hininga na lang ako at tinanggal ang pagkakahawak niya sa mga balikat ko. I looked around her apartment and it's quite comfortable. Umupo ako sa sofa niya at inihilig ang ulo sa headrest.

My mind is fucked up because of Fallon. I'm really lost and scared. What am I gonna do now?

"Can you at least tell me why you're here in this fucking country? I thought you're not ever gonna go back here but why the fuck are you here sitting in my sofa?"

Muling sumabog ang mga katanungan niya pero wala akong lakas para masagot ni isa sa mga iyon. I rose up from the headrest and massaged my temples as I sighed once again.

"I don't really have time for interrogation. I need your help. I need the gang," I said.

"The gang, huh? You're really fucking kidding me right now, Red! You really are. I can't believe you. No. I will never forgive you to make this straight. We will never-"

"Okay! Damn it! You won't forgive me for what I did but if it will happen again and will certainly happen any moment now, still I won't tell you about it because I will not risk the gang's future over mine! So please, Raiya! Can you please - please help me this time?" I said as tears strung my face.

I shook my head as I rested it on the headrest once again. Panay lang ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko at hindi ko na alam ang gagawin.

I know I'm an asshole for ditching them but I will never risk their future just because I'm struggling to achieve mine. Their future is mine too. Come hell or high water, I'll suffer alone from the wrath of my mom rather than dragging them to it.

I can't believe that I'm still a failure after all I've become - after all the achievements I got. I'm still a one heck of a failure and I don't think it will ever change.

"Okay! Fuck. I'll call them to be here and you better get your ass ready for more beating," Raiya said after moments of silence and I could only nod.

Panay pa rin ang pagluha ko hanggang sa may katawagan na siya sa telepono. Hindi ko namalayan ang pagkakatulog ko hanggang sa makarinig nang manghihinang pagtatalo malapit sa akin.

My eyes are sure puffy right now. Nakatulugan ko ang pag-iyak gaya nang parating nangyayari sa akin. The remnants of tears are still on my cheeks as I wiped it off while my eyes are still closed.

I can hear their faint argument that I decided to open my eyes. My heart ache as I look at them. Nasa island counter silang tatlo at nagtatalo-talo. I stood up and cleared my throat. Doon palang sila natigil at sabay-sabay na tumingin sa akin.

I couldn't smile because of shame and the way their eyes look at me.

"Tangina, Red. Tangina." Dan said as she massaged her temples.

Nakahalukipkip si Raiya at seryosong nakatingin sa akin habang si CG ay nakangiti sa akin. Wala akong imik habang naglalakad papunta sa kanila. I don't think I deserve their forgiveness after what I did to them but I am indeed sorry.

"I'm glad you're still breathing." CG said as she hugged me tight.

Napapikit ako at yinakap siya nang mahigpit pabalik. Raiya and Dan did hug me too even though they're angry at me, I still know that they love me.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being an asshole." I said as I hugged them tight again after years of longing.

"We fucking missed you too, Red." Raiya said as she patted my back.

"Gawin mo ulit at malilintikan ka na sa akin!" Dan threatened me but still patted my back.

"The gang is always here for you, Red." CG said as she caressed my hair.

I can only cry because of what they said to me. We may have parted ways for two years but I know they still kept me in their hearts. Friends may be grow apart but they manage to grow together. And lucky for I have these such amazing friends in my arms right now.