Chapter Seven

"WHAT did you do? Bakit hindi ka umiwas? Or you could've made excuses! Anong katangahang ginawa mo, Red?" I asked myself again.

I look like stupid right now for repeating that same questions again and again. Halos i-untog ko na rin ang ulo ko dahil sa labis na pagka-inis sa sarili.

Bakit ko hinayaang mapalapit siya sa akin? Bakit sobrang lapit niya? Oh, God! Ang tanga tanga!

"Shit! Baka kung anong nasa isip niya ngayon! He could've think of me being so marupok! Why do you fuck up so good, Red?"

Itinabon ko sa mukha ang unan at napatili na ako. Kanina pa ako nakarating sa condo ko at nagawa ko na ring maligo pero ang isip ko ay hindi pa rin maka-move on sa nangyari kanina.

My face heat up again upon remembering him almost hugging me and leaving me breathless. Kumabog ng husto ang puso ko kaya napapikit ako.

"This is so not fine! This is not fine at all!" I said to myself again. "I need to redeem myself! Good gracious!"

Nag-isip ako ng mga bagay-bagay na puwede kong gawin para maiba ang tingin niya sa akin. I can't just let this slide. Maybe he thinks that I like him! The nerve! I will never like him! Pero bakit ko kailangang baguhin ang tingin niya sa akin?

I just don't want him to think na may gusto ako sa kanya kaya hinayaan ko siyang yakapin ako! And more so that I want to be betrothed to him!

"Oh no..."

Nagimbal ako dahil sa sariling pag-iisip. No way! Agad akong bumalikwas nang bangon at sinapo ang mukha. How can I forget about it? How can I forget about that fucking deal?

Fear slowly devoured my system. Halos mangatal ako dahil sa mga iniisip. There's no way that he's after it. It's been two years! Paniguradong nakahanap na siya ng babaeng puwedeng puwede niyang pakasalan. He's Fallon Timothy del Rio! A fucking hot bachelor and businessman in the country! He can get girls easily without trying!

Then why was he there yesterday? Why did he take you home? Why did he hugged you like he had long for you so much? My mind formulated its own destruction.

"No. He must be playing around! He thinks that I'm an easy catch! After all, I was betrothed to him! He thinks that I've changed my mind or he's just trying me!"

Pilit kong kinukumbinse ang sarili na tama ang mga rasong iniisip ko. Talagang possible naman iyon! A man like him needs a submissive! And he thinks that I can be that submissive! How dare him!

Mabilis na nalipat ang atensyon ko dahil sa sunod-sunod na tunog ng cellphone ko. I searched for it and saw it under my pillow. Halos maupuan ko na rin ito dahil sa kalikutan ko sa kama. Agad ko itong kinuha at sinipat. My chest tightened at the sight of it. Halos mamura ko ang sarilo habang sumisinghap ng ilang beses.

I felt that my heart was torn into pieces. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ang reaksyon ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sobra akong apektado sa mga mensahe niya. Why am I so fucking affected?

I was so lost that I let my phone rest on my chest as I felt the erratic beating of my heart. Ganoon ang posisyon ko hanggang sa hindi ko na nalabanan ang antok at pagkagulo ng isipan.

I woke up to the sun's blazing heat in my face the next day. I groaned as I shifted my position. Iniwas ko ang mukhang natatamaan ng sinag ng araw. I remembered how I let my venetian blinds open because I was so tired contemplating about Fallon's messages. Pero pati pa rin pala ngayong paggising ko ay iyon pa rin ang naiisip ko.

"Fuck it." I cursed as I draw myself up.

I yawned couple of times before deciding to get out of my bed. Hindi na ako nag-abalang mag-ayos ng sarili pagkatapos magsepilyo at maghilamos. I am wearing an oversized shirt and lacy panty. I don't wear shorts or pyjamas when I sleep. My twin peaks were freed that I felt better. I strudded in my condo like a queen because I really am.

Itinali ko lang ng kung ano ang buhok ko bago pumunta sa kitchen. Tiningan ko ang mga cabinet at napagtantong hindi nga pala ako nakapag-grocery. Puro fastfood lang ako noong mga nakaraang araw. And I know for the moment that I fucked up again. I cursed myself because of it.

"Jusko naman, Red! Ano pa bang kapalpakan ang gagawin mo ha? And now you're going to starve yourself?"

Inis kong iniwas ang tingin doon at tiningnan ang coffee maker na hindi ko rin naman magagamit. I walked to where my fridge is and all I can see is water and some fruits. Nagkibit-balikat ako at kinuha ang isang mansanas.

I washed it thoroughly before slicing it. Natabig ko pa ang isang bagay kaya yumukod ako para pulutin ako.

"There you a-"

My eyes went wide when I saw a pair of feet. Napatili ako at agad na umayos at itinutok ang hawak ko sa kung sino. That's when my mouth hanged open as I saw Fallon looking at me coldly and his mouth partly opened.

I don't know what to fucking say! Nakatutok lang sa kanya ang hawak ko at hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. My face heated profusely.

"W-what are you d-doing here?" I stuttered.

I can't even say that right! What the hell? Why is he here? Paano siya nakapasok? Hindi siya nagsalita at humakbang papunta sa kitchen counter at inilapag ang dala niya. Hindi ko man lang napansin na may hawak pala siya. I cursed mentally. Gusto ko na lang malusaw o kainin ng sahig ngayon.

"Paano ka nakapasok dito?"

"Through the door."

"A-ano?" inis kong tanong.

Is he playing with me right now? Hindi ako gumalaw sa kinatatayuan ko and he noticed it. Humarap siya sa akin and his brows instantly shot up.

"You didn't lock your door," he said. Umigting ang panga at matalim ang titig sa akin.

Ibinaling ko ang tingin sa pintuan. Is that why he got here?

"Pero bakit ka narito?" Tanong ko at humalukipkip.

Bumaba ang tingin niya sa dibdib ko kaya bumaba rin doon ang tingin ko. My face heated when I realized that I'm not wearing a bra. Nang mag-angat ako nang tingin ay bumaba ang tingin niya sa katawan ko. Halos mawalan ako ng kulay sa mukha dahil sa suot ko. I wasn't wearing any shorts! He saw me! He fucking saw me!

"A-anong tinitingin-tingin mo?"

"Red, please, go to your room and change. We can't talk properly if you're just wearing that," he said coldly.

My heart hammered against my chest as I felt my cheeks heated once again. My rational thinking stopped as I ran towards my room. Narinig ko rin ang marahan niyang pagmumura kaya mas tumindi ang pagkapahiya ko. Letse! Bakit pa kasi ako yumukod? Argh!