Actress

I'm so sorry, Lila," he said briefly and smiled again.

"Me too, Daniel" - my voice stopped for a moment. "I meant the last two weeks" - I admitted quietly.

I was really sorry, he didn't deserve me to treat him like that. His face twitched in pain, as if he were reliving the agony of the last few weeks in his heart.

"I am also ... very sorry" - he replied, also embarrassed. What did he mean by that, I didn't understand, what was he so sorry for? He had done nothing at all, except that he existed. I had to postpone my questions because Mr. Brown was just entering the classroom. Damn. I could not wait. I quickly tore a piece of paper from my pad.

"What are you sorry for Daniel?" - I wrote on it and pushed him over to him. Without looking at me, which was another sign of the fact that he already knew what was on the piece of paper, he picked up a pen and wrote something on it. It took half an eternity before he passed the note over to me unnoticed.

“I'm sorry that I stepped into your life so obviously. It was wrong. I should have left everything unchanged, but now it's too late and that's exactly what I'm sorry about. ”

I understood that even less than his previous apology. I raised my eyebrows again, but this time it was serious. I was angry with myself. He looked pained. Something hurt him, his eyes darkened a shade.

"Daniel, that is not an answer, but something I certainly do not understand." While I was still writing, he pushed another piece of paper to me. He already knew the answer.

“I can't tell you more about that, only that I feel more for you than I should.”

What does he mean by “should”? I almost missed the fact that he was just confessing his feelings to me. I blushed, my heart pounded. And then I realized that he knew from day one that I was in love with him. And I didn't think of it all along? You have to be almost blind, Lila, I scolded myself. I remembered his painful face the last few weeks, his dark circles under his eyes, he suffered with me because he felt the same way.

I looked for confirmation in his face. I decided to forego a note to tell him something.

"Daniel, answer me, please," I demanded in my mind. He looked at me embarrassed. Yes, so it was true. That was enough for me. Something remained unclear, however, what he meant by “I feel more than I should”. Who told him how much he could feel for me? But that really had to wait, Mr. Brown was already looking angrily in our direction.

It rang. School end. I heard happy voices and giggles, everyone got into the mood for the weekend ahead. I also packed my school bag and didn't notice that Daniel had already finished. He seemed to be in a hurry. At least something made him visibly nervous.

“Well then, see you tonight. I'm looking forward to it, Lila, ”he said far too quickly, but honestly. He stopped for a moment, but then did not leave the room very determined.

I hadn't even managed to answer him. That was not fair. I knew why he was in such a hurry. He wanted to avoid my questions that he had already read in my mind. I could have bet on that. Great gift. I wouldn't give up, he might have escaped now, but he won't always succeed. I had to know. So many questions had not yet been answered.

When I reached the parking lot, Daniel's Audi was already gone. Today it didn't trigger the usual painful feelings in me as it usually did. I knew that I would see him again in a few hours and that was more than I could dream of. Spend time with him.

Kate is waiting for me in her car. She kept telling me about the people she'd invited for tonight, but I was unable to listen to her. My thoughts were solely with Daniel. I just learned that most of them came from wealthy families and I didn't know them. I didn't ask any more, I didn't care, Daniel would be there, that was the only thing I had to know. Damn I was in love For the very first time, I experienced this feeling spreading inside me. And it almost felt intoxicating.

"Well, see you later, Kate"; I said happily, almost singing, as we parked in front of our house.

"I'll pick you up at seven, dear," she said urgently and I disappeared into the house smiling.

I threw myself overjoyed on the bed. The grin didn't leave my face for a second. I closed my eyes and saw myself in Daniel's arms, how he caresses my hand, how he goes over my face and I sink into his blue eyes and he kisses me gently. It is an indescribable feeling what came over me at that moment. How many times have I imagined it, but never was this imagination so tangible as it is today. My grin got wider. What will he be wearing today? Light blue again? I could not wait for it. Quickly looked for a CD from my collection without actually paying attention to it and went to my closet. I wanted to look good, so I didn't pull anything out like usual. It suddenly occurred to me, very clearly, that I had very few beautiful clothes. I've never noticed it before. But maybe the beauty of the clothes only faded because I compared them all to Daniel. I was horrified. What am I wearing now? I could never have imagined that I would react that way. I was purple. Kate was the freak, not me. In the end I had the choice between a yellow, flower-embroidered, half-length dress, a lilac-colored spaghetti strap dress, or a white innocent summer dress, which had a very nice neckline that was embroidered with small florets.

I put everyone on first, experimented with my hair and then finally had on the white dress, strappy sandals with rhinestones on my feet and loose hair. I was satisfied and looked at the clock, it was already half past six. I didn't realize I was spending all afternoon getting dressed. Kate was not allowed to find out about it. It would destroy my years of struggle. I looked in the mirror one last time and, as if out of spite, ruffled my curls again so that they didn't look so perfect.

I went downstairs and heard voices in the kitchen. I wasn't used to signing out of someone. Most of the time nobody was there, but when my parents were at home, I did it because you probably had to do it that way.

"I'm on the road with Kate". I thought for a moment what to add.

“I'll be on time.”

I wasn't sure what that word meant, but there was nothing wrong with saying it. They both smiled.

"It's good, have fun."

I smiled back.

I didn't know any times, mostly I decided for myself when it was time to go home.

It honked.

"Then,

see you later." Without turning around, I slammed the front door. When I was in the car, Kate looked at me skeptically.

"What is it?" - I looked away, embarrassed.

Shit, she noticed, I was uncomfortable.

"You look really pretty, dear," she said, smiling and a little thoughtful.

She always called me "dear" when something should sound particularly good. I do not want it. It sounded like a dog.

"Thanks, you too," I said quickly.

"That's normal, too," she uttered indignantly and hissed. Then she started the engine, put it in gear and we finally drove off.

After half a minute she looked at me very skeptically again and wanted to share with me what she had just said.

“But it is not normal for you to dress up like that. So, since you don't know the rest of the invited people, I'll just pretend that you made yourself pretty for Daniel. I know you are in love the way you have treated the poor for the past few weeks. ”

It was not a guess, it was a statement. I didn't add anything more to that. Caught. But she had noticed. I could forget about becoming an actress.

"By the way, Sem can be excused, he won't come. He's not doing so well. ”She waited for my reaction. But I didn't really care, the main thing was that Daniel came.

"It's a shame," I said completely neutrally and looked at the street. She didn't find anything suspicious, so she posted another topic.

"I'm really looking forward to introducing you to the others," she said with pride in her voice.