Chapter 12:- Christmas Dinner (3)

Few moments ago, when I was thinking that, I was going to return to India for few days, I was feeling pretty happy. But now, when I'm thinking about it, I don't know, but for some reason I feeling a bit nostalgic to leave.

As I saw everyone, laughing, talking, having fun with each other, I suddenly didn't wanted to leave them. I've only spend a year here, but I've started to take this place as my home.

I gave a sad smile thinking about it.

I looked up and saw that Junsoo has completed singing her song. We all clapped when she made her way towards us and sat down beside me.

"Whose next then??", Minho asked looking at all of us.

"Ho-Jun, why don't you also sing", I smiled at Ho-Jun.

"No, no, it's a problem to sing while wearing a mask", he quickly replied.

"Then just open it, we are in home", I insisted.

"I don't think that's a good idea", Ho-Jun said nervously.

"Minji, don't force him. Let me sing next", Minho said.

Minho picked up the mic, choose what he wanted to sing and started singing.

As soon as he started, we all were startled.

He was singing Dynamite by BTS. God only knew, how much I loved this song. Actually, we all loved it, it was a very nice choice to sing this song on such happy moment, the song send cheerful vibes and soon we all started to dance along with the music.

After Minho was done, we all cheered for him.

"Minji, you sing next", Minho said, passing the mic to me.

"No, no", I rebutted.

"C'mon, please", Minho pleaded.

"I said no, my voice is not good", I was just embarassed, I haven't sung in front of anyone before.

"Stop lying! I've heard you many times, singing a song when you were alone", Junsoo suddenly said.

"When did you-", I looked at Junsoo in shock.

"I've also heard you many times, singing that one song", Minho added.

"C'mon Minji", Junsoo insisted looking at me with her puppy eyes.

"But, I don't remember any particular song properly", I said.

"Then, sing that song which you always sing when you're alone", Minho said.

"That-", I tried to say something, but they didn't wanted to listen to any of my explanations.

"C'mon Minji, I also want to hear it", this time Ho-Jun also insisted.

I looked at him helplessly.

"Ok fine! I'll sing", I said at last.

Minho and Junsoo cheered when they heard what I said.

I tooked the mic from Minho and played the music. The song's name was Maze, it's a pretty old song, but it was my favourite song. When I hear this song, I can't help thinking about Jungkook.

As the music came to my ears, I closed my eyes and suddenly Jungkook's face came in my mind. I got lost in him and started singing.

"            

          Lonely wind, blue rain falls

                     Standing alone

           Light that I chased, is you

                  Far away blurring

                  Longing to belong

     Sailing through surging billows

Wondering how can I touch your time

              On my way to destiny

           When I am facing reality

            Don't be walking alone

          I want to know how long 

          It will takes to get there

        Anyone can make me fall

       Though I may goin' astray

                In deepest maze

     I'm the one who make it real

                                                                 "

As I continued to sing the song, I imagined myself standing beside a cherry blossom tree holding Jungkook's hand in mine. 

The weather was warm and cool breeze blew, I imagined him smiling at me brightly. His smile made my heart skip a beat, I knew it was a dream, but I wanted to get lost in it. 

After so many years also, the feeling I had for him haven't changed a bit. Loving him is like getting lost in a maze, I don't know the exit but still hoping to find it.

Whenever I see couples, I feel at lost. I can't help but think if me and Jungkook were like this. Even when I see my parents together or my best friend with her boyfriend, my heart hurts so badly, I can't help but feel jealous. I hate myself even more for this.

But at the end, I just smile looking at their happy faces. I can't help but be happy for them and wish that they always stay like this.

Once someone asked me, that don't I regret falling in love with someone who will never be mine. I started to laugh when I heard that, I may regret being born so far away from him, I may regret being born so weak that I can't share his pains and sufferings, I may regret that I'm so useless that I can't even make him smile when he's sad, I may also regret my very own existence, but I can never regret loving him, I never regretted it in the past and I never will in the future also.

"

     Ah, how can I touch your time

            On my way to destiny

      Ah, where are you in the end?

    Will this maze guide me to you?

          Though I am goin' astray

                  In deepest maze

       I'm the one who make it real

      Lonely winds, blue rain falls

                Waiting someone

       Light that I chased, is you

            Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh....

                                                                      "

As the song started to end, Jungkook face also started to move further away. I reached my hand out, but it was useless. 

I will always love you, Jungkook!!

I said in my mind, as tears started to roll down from my eyes.

The music ended and I opened my eyes, I found everyone looking at me, no one said anything.

"What happened guys?? Why are you looking at me like that??", I asked, then I realised something, my cheeks were wet and tears were continuously flowing from my eyes.

"Huh!? Why the hell am I crying??", I asked laughing and weeping at the same time, I tried to stop my tears but they kept pouring. 

"It's weird-", I was about to say something when suddenly Minho hugged me tightly in his arms.

"It's okay to cry, cry out loudly Minji", Minho said in a soft voice.

I couldn't hold anymore and started to cry but stopped, pushing Minho away lightly.

"It's okay Minho, I'm fine", I said with a smile, rubbing my tears off my face.

"But Minji-", Minho was saying something but I stopped him.

"I'm fine now don't worry. Now, let me get the food and after dinner let's cut the cake", I said as I headed towards the kitchen.

'I can't become so weak! I won't cry!', I said to myself.

After sometime I came back, carrying food I've specially made for today. I've made many things like Fried chicken, ox bone soup, pork ribs, soy sauce crab, red rice cake and Kimchi stew. And there's black forest cake too.

Minho started to jump excitedly, when he saw the food.

"Minji, did you make all these??", Junsoo asked looking shocked when she saw so many dishes.

"Yeah, I did", I replied with a smile.

"I can't wait to eat all of these", Minho said drooling over the food.

"You guys start eating, I'm going to bring juice to drink with it", as I got up, I heard someone's phone ring.

I turned around and saw that it was Ho-Jun's phone.

"Hello??", Ho-Jun answered the call quickly.

"What?? But now-", he said over the phone and I knew something was off.

"Ok, ok, I'm coming", he said as he hung up the phone.

"What happened Ho-Jun??", Minho asked before I could ask anything.

"Something urgent have came up, so I've to leave now only", Ho-Jun replied as he got up hurriedly.

"Is it something serious, can we help you, somehow??", I asked looking at him.

"No, no, don't bother with it. I've to go, today I had a great time with you guys, see you later", Ho-Jun said.

"It was fun meeting you dude", Minho said as he got up and hugged Ho-Jun.

"See you later, take care of yourself", Junsoo said with a smile.

"I'll drop you off by the gate", I said, Ho-Jun didn't say anything just nodded looking at me.

"See you later, Minji", Ho-Jun said as he got out of the door to leave.

"Yeah, see you later! Take care of yourself", I said.

I looked at him as he turned and left.

********

I was leaving, when suddenly Minji called me.

"Merry Christmas Ho-Jun!!", she shouted and gave me a smile.

"Merry Christmas!", I shouted back and finally left.

When I was out of her apartment, I saw Taehyung's car parked few metres away from the apartment.

"Hey!", I said as I got inside the car.

"So, how was it?? Did you tell her who you actually are??", Taehyung asked.

"No!", I replied.

"But why??".

"Because her friends were also there, that's why I had to message you to call me and had to pretend that, I had to leave because of some urgent matter", I replied with a sigh.

"Sad! But we can't help it though. Let's leave for now", Taehyung said.

"Ok, let's go".

As we were heading back, Minji's crying face while she sang that beautiful song came in my mind. That song.....does she sing it for that guy who she's loves so much.

"Did you cry because of him while you were singing that song??", I whispered softly to myself.

"Did you say something??", Taehyung asked.

"No, no, it's nothing", I quickly replied.

I couldn't help but think again about who might that guy be. Why Minji loved him so much, I've to find out.