Chapter Six

Ngayon nakasakay ako sa kotse  ni IJ. On the way na kami sa restaurant kung saan kami kakain ng dinner. Tinitigan ko si IJ habang nagda-drive. I can't believe that he asked me to go out with him. On a date.

Like. IJ Carl Rodriguez asked me out on a date. Why am I not freaking out? Kahapon nga, I did. Tapos ngayon, I'm calm as an ocean after storm. Although... I have this funny feeling in my stomach. I feel like butterflies are dancing in my stomach - but in a good thing.

I smile as he starts singing a song that I am not familiar with. I smile as he take my hand and grips it firmly.

I didn't tell my mother and my father that I'm going out with him. I just told them both that I'm going out with Ivy. Para hindi sila mag-isip ng kung ano. I can't also tell them that I'm going out on a date. Hindi ako papayagan 'non. Masyado silang strikto.

But, I guess, they can't help being strict with me. Nag-iisang anak lang nila ako. As far as I can do anything I want. But such things like having a boyfriend, going out so late and coming home late at night, having a guy friend with their thoroughly investigation and other things that they are strict with me, are a big no to them.

I understand them. Naiintidihan ko. Dahil kahit din ako, magiging strikto sa nag-iisa kong anak na babae. Pero hindi to the point na nasasakal ko na ang anak ko. At saka hindi ko sinasabing sinasakal ako ng mga magulang ko. I'm just fine with them being strict with me. Kasi dahil doon, nalaman ko kung gaano nila ako kamahal.

Maswerte pa nga ako na meron akong magulang na tulad nila. Kaya never akong nagrereklamo. Actually, nagi-guilty nga ako sa ginagawa ko. But I want to do this. I want to be selfish kahit paminsan-minsan lang. And I will also tell them about me and IJ soon that he asks me to be his girlfriend.

Napangiti ako ng sa naisip ko.

Kailan kaya n'ya ako tatanungin bilang girlfriend n'ya?

Napangiti na naman ako sa naisip.

'Ba't ka ngumingiti?' Nabalik ako sa reality. Napatitig ako kay IJ na nakangiti sa akin.

'Wala lang.' Nakangiti kong sagot. 'Dahil dito?' I gestured around us. He looked around and chuckled after.

'Anong meron? I can't see the things you're telling me that can make you smile.' He laughed and I did the same.

'Let's go to our date.' He smiled. 'I know you're hungry.' And my stomach grumbled. I flushed in embarrassment and hid my face from him.

'Yes, let's go.' Nauna s'yang lumabas ng kotse para pagbuksan ako ng pintuan. I smiled as he bowed dramatically.

'Milady.' I know he is smiling. I can feel mine is wider. Just because he called me "milady".

He stood up straight and offered me his arms. I patted his bicep and slipped my arms on his.

As soon as we entered the restaurant, may waiter na nakatayo lang mukhang naghihintay ng magiging customer.

'Good evening, ma'am, sir. Do you have a reservation?' He asked. I turn to look at IJ. He nodded his head "no" and smiled.

'No. But I would like a table for two.' He said and gave the waiter another smile.

'Yes, sir.' The waiter nodded. 'Please this way.'

We followed him as IJ held my hand. I quickly blushed at his touch and I just let him.

My heart is beating so fast and so loud. So loud that I feel like it's beating in my ears. I calmed myself down para maiwasan ko ang pagsigaw ng malakas dahil sa kilig.

'Here's your table.' Sabi ng waiter nang marating na namin ang table na binigay sa amin. 'And here's the menu.' He passed the menu to me and to IJ. 'Just call me when you are both ready to order.' The waiter politely smiled and then left. He came back again with a jar of water and filled our glasses. And left after.

'So order na tayo?' Saad ni IJ habang nakangiti. Umiwas ako ng tingin at narinig ko na naman s'yang tumawa.

'Y-yeah... okay.' I stuttered. I cursed myself for stuttering. But it made IJ chuckled again. Naramdaman kong uminit ang mukha ko at tinakpan ko ito gamit ang menu.

I read the menu and decided to choose chicken salad. Sinilip ko si IJ mula sa menu ko and I found him looking at me. I blushed again and cleared my throat.

I slowly put down the menu. At pilit na ngumiti. And I'm pretty sure that I look like an idiot.

'So...' He started. Suddenly, I found the glass of water looked interesting. 'Nakapili ka na ng i-o-order mo?'

I nodded. 'Yes.' Sagot ko sa tanong n'ya.'

'So mag-o-order na tayo?'

'Yeah, I guess.' Saad ko at tunawa ng maikli.

Tinawag n'ya na 'yong waiter at nagsimula na kaming mag-order dalawa. He wanted a steak and I told the waiter I wanted a chicken salad.

Pagkatapos naming mag-order. Naging tahimik na kami. I can't talk since hindi ko alam kung ano ang pag-uusapan. Like ano ba ang pinag-uusapan sa ganitong klaseng date. Because truthfully speaking, first time kong magkaroon ng ka-date. And I clearly have no idea what to do. Sa school nga 'di ko na alam ang gagawin pag nand'yan s'ya tapos ngayong ka-date ko s'ya ay mas lalong hindi ko alam ang gagawin.

Why is it so hard to talk to someone you like when he clearly told me that he likes me too?

Wait a minute...

He actually didn't tell me that he likes me. He just asked me to go out with me.

Wait. He did ask me out on a date. Nandirito na nga ako. Nasa harapan ko nga s'ya. He does like me. Or at least interested in me.

Right?

Right?

Am I freaking out now? Do I sound freaking out? Or nagpa-panic lang ako.

'Calm down. You okay.' Napatingin ako kay IJ.

'Do you like me?'

He went still for a while. Like he didn't actually talk. He just stared at me like I said something wrong. The na-realize ko kung ano 'yong nasabi ko sa kanya for him to actually went still.

Do you like me?

My eyes widened. I wished that I'm home. Away from this date. For me to avoid making myself even more stupid than I am.

He cleared his throat and straightened himself. He tried to gain his composure again and drank a few sips of water.

'Yes, I do.' He answered. I'm stunned by his answer. Namula ang pisngi n'ya at ang kanyang mga tainga. Alam kong namumula rin ako at mas lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

'You do?' I asked still stunned... and ecstatic about his answer.

'Yes.' Mahina n’yang saad. 'Hindi pa ba halata? I wouldn't actually ask you out if I'm not interested in you and doesn't like you.' Napakati s'ya sa kanyang batok which I found cute, with all red ears and cheeks.

'I wouldn't ask you out twice if I'm not interested.' He added.

'But why me?' Takang tanong ko. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa kanyang mga sinabi. 'Bakit ako? Eh, marami namang babaeng mas nakaka-lamang sa akin. May mga babae namang mas maganda kaysa sa akin. Matalino. Sexy.' Huminga ako saglit at ipinagpatuloy ang sasabihin.

'Like hello? Me? Ako na average lang ang itsura. Hindi matalino pero kaya namang i-maintain ang grado. Hindi naman sexy pero payat lang naman. Bakit ako?'

'All of the above. Lahat ng sagot mo. Lahat ng pag-describe mo sa sarili mo. Hindi ka nga kasing ganda ng iba but you are beautiful inside. Hindi ka nga kasing talino ng iba, at least you are honest unlike our other classmates na nandadaya na at sumisipsip sa mga teachers. Hindi ka kasing sexy ng iba but at least you're not slowly killing yourself for people to like you physically.' He paused.

'Never bring yourself down. Dahil the most things I've ever like and love about you is you are true to yourself. You are kind. You are beautiful but you just can't appreciate it. Especially, I love the way you smile.' He paused again and reached my hand. He gripped it tightly and then reached for my other hand to do the same thing.

'Your smile is true and pure. And every time I see you smile. I can't stop myself falling further in love with you.' He smiled as he said those. 'I'm afraid I have to rephrase I said earlier.'

He took a deep breath. 'I. Love. You.' He smiled. 'For a long time now actually. Simula pa 'nong grade eight.'

If I was stunned about all he said. I'm even more stunned when he just confessed to me that he liked - love - me since eight grade.

I didn't know what to say. But all I know is that I accepted him. And I realized that I didn't like him. But I love him. I was just scared to admit it because of rejection. I was scared to love him.

but not anymore.