Chapter Five

seventh day of july, year two thousand seventeen, friday...

Kanina pa nagkukwento si Ivy sa date nila ni Robert. Kinuwento n'ya sa akin kung saan sila pumunta at kung saan sila kumain. Kung ano man ang mga ginawa nilang kasiyahan.

I'm really happy for her. I'm happy for my best friend.

Tapos kaninang lunch, nakasabay pa naming kumain si Robert. Gusto raw kasi ni Robert na makilala ako at makipag-kaibigan kahit paano for... you know, para hindi ako tututol sa relasyon nila. He was blunt but I think he mean well when he said he wanted me to be his friend. Not just because I'm Ivy's best friend, but because for who I am.

Tinanggap ko naman ang pakikipagkaibigan n'ya. Wala namang mawawala kung magiging kaibigan ko s'ya. At isa pa, mabuti na rin 'yon at mabantayan ko ang dalawa. May pagka-tanga pa naman ang best friend ko about love and relationship.

'So... We really enjoyed that carnival. Sana maulit pa 'yon.' Pagtatapos ni Ivy sa kanyang kwento.

'Ikaw? Ano nangyari sa'yo kagabi?' Dagdag n'ya pa.

I stiffened. Gusto kong hindi sabihin sa kanya but she's my best friend. I cannot just not tell her.

'Ummm... IJ asked me if I'm free today,' I paused to breathe. 'after school.'

'Oh my god, please tell me you said yes.'

'Ummm... no?' Her eyes widened at binatukan n'ya ako ng pagkalakas. Napangiwi ako sa sakit at tiningnan ng masama. Pinandilatan lang n'ya ako ng mga mata.

'Bwisit ka! Ba't ka humindi? You could have said yes!' Pasigaw n'yang sabi sa akin. Napahawak na lang ako sa tainga ko.

'Can't you be any more louder? Lakasan mo pa to the point na masira na eardrums ko.' Inis kong sabi sa kanya.

She rolled her eyes and glared at me. 'Okay,' Itinaas ko ang dalawa kong kamay as a surrender. 'Fine, fine, I'm sorry. Okay? 'Di nag-function utak ko kahapon ng maayos. Saka ko lang din na-realize mga sinabi n'ya 'nong umalis na s'ya.'

She shifted from where she's sitting. 'Kung um-oo ka lang sana. May double date tayo.' She sighed hopelessly.

I blushed when I heard the words double date. 'Sino nagsabing date 'yon? Malay mo humihingi lang s'ya ng tulong sa akin for schoolworks. Or other things.'

'Like a date?' Tinaas-baba n'ya ang kanyang kilay as she said the words suggestively.

'No.'

'Oh, I know you're hoping na ilalabas ka n'ya for a date. I doubt he world ask you if you're free after school and he wouldn't take you out on a date.'

I rolled my eyes and watched my classmates play volleyball at the court in front of us.

'How would you know?' I asked bitterly. As if naman na ilalabas n'ya ako on a date.

'Look at the other side of the court.' Sinabi n'ya at ngumuso sa direksyon ng tinutukoy. Tiningnan ko ang kaklase naming mga lalake na naglalaro ng basketball.

But what caught my attention is IJ. He is looking at me or rather where I am. But I have a gut feeling na tumitingin s'ya sa akin. My face flushed in embarrassment. I quickly look away to the game in front me.

'See?' Ivy said triumphantly. 'Tama ako 'no?'

'He wasn't looking at me.' I denied. Sinulyapan ko s'ya ng pasimple but I couldn't find him where he was seated before. Si Robert na lang ang naka-upo sa bench habang nagpapahinga.

'Cheneck n'ya talaga ulit para malaman kung tama ako. Ayiiee, is this pag-ibig?' Panunukso n'ya sa akin. Parang nahulog 'to 'nong pinanganak 'tong best friend ko. One minute, galit. And then next masayahing unggoy.

'I didn't.' Pag-deny ko ulit. 'I definitely didn't.'

Tumawa lang s'ya ng malakas which earned looks from our other classmates. 'Whatevet you say.' Tumawa s'ya ulit ng malakas and then suddenly stopped. 'Well, isn't it our lover boy?'

Napatingin ako sa lugar kung saan s'ya tumitingin. Nakita kong papalapit si IJ kasama si Robert. Nang makarating ang dalawa sa pwesto namin ni Ivy. Agad na niyakap ni Robert ang girlfriend - girlfriend since feel ko sila na.

'Hey, my little cupcake.' Rinig kong bulong ni Robert kay Ivy. I feel like I want to vomit right this instant because it was a cringe. But then the sight of regurgitated egg sandwich - which I ate this lunch - looks more disgusting. So I fight the urge to puke.

I closed my eyes and tried not to listen at my best friend and her boyfriend cuddling and tell sweet things to each other which was all so disgusting to hear. I flinched and shifted uncomfortably every time I heard whatever they tell to each other.

'Hey.' I stiffened when IJ looked at me. 'Kamusta?'

'Great. Ummm...' Sinabi ko ng mahina but loud enough for him to hear.

'Right. Yes. Great.' We fell silent. Wala ng nagsalita sa aming dalawa. The two lovebirds even stopped doing whatever disgusting were they doing.

Robert and Ivy felt the tension between me and IJ. They also felt the awkwardness in the air.

'Babaho ang hininga n'yo 'yan.' Napatingin ako kay Robert at bigla s'yang tumawa. 'Come on. Uso naman mag-usap, 'di ba?' Napangiwi ako at tiningnan si IJ. Nakita kong namumula ang kanyang mga pisnge which I know that mirrors mine.

''Wag mo naman silang i-pressure.' Singit ni Ivy at ngumiti ng nakakaloko. 'I'm sure they'll come around.'

Umiwas agad ako ng tingin kay IJ. Biglang napahagalpak sa tawa ang dalawa. Si IJ ay tahimik lang sa tabi ni Robert. Alam kong 'di rin s'ya makatingin sa akin.

And something clicked in me. May gusto ba sa akin si IJ? I know I can be a bit oblivious about people's feelings towards me. May gusto ba s'ya? Kasi kung wala ba't hindi n'ya pinagsasabihan ang best friend n'ya na tumigil. Pag hindi s'ya nagde-deny?

Meron ba? Or is it just my whim for me to see it this way? Wala ba?

'Uso talaga magsalita.' Rinig kong sabi ni Ivy.

'I'm gonna go to the CR.' Mabilis kong sabi at umalis. Hinayaan ko na lang 'yong mga pang-aasar sa akin habang paalis na ako.

Pagkarating ko sa CR ay agad akong pumunta sa nay sink at naghilamos. I sighed and faced the mirror.

Minasdan ko ang kabuohan ng mukha ko. Medyo makapal ang kilay, medyo matangos na ilong, maputing balat. Minasdan ko ang mukha ko ng mabuti.

May itsura naman ako - maganda naman ako. Pero ba't ganito? Ba't walang nagkakagusto sa akin?

Napahilamos na lang ako ulit at nag-punas ng mukha.

'You are beautiful, Alexa. May taong magmamahal rin sa'yo.' Ngumiti ako ng matamlay. 'Someday, someone will love you for who you are. Someday.' I added whispering the last part.

With that I decided to leave the comfort room. Pagka-labas ko, nakita ko si IJ na nakaupo sa may tabi ng pituan ng boy's comfort room which is across from girl's. I sighed when he stand up habang nakangiti.

'Alexa. Hey, ummm—'

'Look. Hayaan mo na 'yong mga sinabi ng best friend mo at ng best friend ko.' Pagputol ko sa kanya. 'We both know that they were teasing us. So need to apologize. Kilala ko ang kaibigan ko. Mahilig manukso at mag-biro.'

'No.' Bigla n'yang saad. 'I know what they were doing. I just... I just want to ask you out.'

Natawa ako sa sinabi n'ya. 'Alam mo naman palang nagbibiro lang sila. So bakit—' Nanlaki ang mga mata ko ng ma-realize ko 'yong huli n'yang sinabi.

'WHAT!? Paki-ulit please. What the hell!?' Mabilis kong sinabi. Parang mali ata 'yong narinig ko. Bingi ata ako.

He chuckled. 'I'm asking you out.' He chuckled again.

I stared at him if he is just joking. But he isn't.

is that a good thing?