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Fears
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2020-10-11 23:28:03had a very strange feeling that I had never felt before. Suddenly I had butterflies in my stomach and there was a smell of the most wonderful flowers on earth. As if I was enchanted. I felt like I could take off at any moment.
I looked into Kate's petrified face. It was full of admiration. She stood completely motionless and looked at the parking lot, which was right in front of the school.
I followed her gaze and turned around and saw a snow-white Audi. His snow-white Audi. It belonged to Daniel Callahan, who was about to get out. Although I'd never seen him before, I knew intuitively that this outrageously good-looking boy who was about to get out of his outrageously good-looking car was Daniel. What the hell was wrong with me? My body and especially my emotions went completely crazy. What scared me most of all was that extreme familiarity. Why was I so drawn to Daniel even though I had never seen him before? I was horrified at myself. And at what I was feeling. I should have been glad to be able to feel anything at all, because that was clearly proof that I was not an emotionally cold monster. I tried to fix my gaze on something else- so I looked back at Kate.
I wasn't sure if she admired the Audi or Daniel Callahan. Both would have been possible. I looked over at the parking lot again, it was impossible not to look there.
Now he came up to us and looked at me as if I was the only person in his field of vision, the only one in his mind, the only one who would ever be in his arms and the only one who would be worth dying for. I almost got hit. Dizziness spread from the adrenaline rushing into my blood. Who was this Daniel Callahan?
I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew him from somewhere. I've definitely seen this face before, that much was certain. He was so familiar to me. I knew his facial expressions, his way of moving and what was absolutely sick, I imagined that I also knew what his voice sounded like. Damn it, it just looked so familiar, but I couldn't find anything in my head that suggested it. No memory to retrieve. I was losing my mind, that much was certain, and the closer he got, the worse this strange feeling got. Now I actually thought I was floating. Crazy ... Was I crazy all of a sudden? Why did he confuse me so?
I was in a trance and he didn't take his eyes off me and when he reached the step on which I was standing, his seemingly perfect mouth twisted into a loving smile. It was just perfect. Not from this world. I had never seen such a beautiful person. I just stood there and looked at him - as if he had told me to. It was like a spell, I couldn't resist it.
And when he smiled at me, I had to smile back - as if I had always done it that way. This situation also seemed so very familiar to me.
His ocean blue eyes were warm and as deep as the Atlantic on a summer day. I had to be careful not to drown in it. What was wrong with me? I despaired. It scared me. He scared me because he was somehow able, as if by magic, to pull me under his spell.
Stop staring at him Lila! - I commanded myself.
Oh please, dear god, don't let me go mad!
Then he giggled softly, as if he had read my confused thoughts at that moment.
He was already a few steps further when I heard a low, almost whispered "Hello Purple". The words wafted over to me like a sweet smelling summer breeze. Now I was sure from the bottom of my heart that I knew his voice. And that I went crazy It sounded to my ears like a long-awaited greeting after many years. It sounded like a long-awaited reunion. And as sure as I was on this point, I was also sure at the same time that it couldn't be. I didn't know Daniel, my mind told me that. My heart, however, longed for him.
I became a little clearer again when the bell rang.
.......
Class started in minutes. I had completely forgotten that Kate was still standing next to me. I was surprised that she hadn't texted him right away, as she did with everyone. Perhaps she had felt exactly the same as me? I looked at them searchingly, looking for evidence for the theory I had just made. She looked confused indeed. She was just trying to hide this confusion behind her lovely smile, which told me she was uncomfortable.
"What do you think about him? Isn't he totally cute? Such a real heartthrob, isn't it Lila ... “- she said in one breath.
"Huh ... what ... oh, Daniel, yes, he seems really nice.
I 'll see you later, Kate, have fun. ” I wanted to be alone as soon as possible. Well at least in my head.
Fortunately, she wasn't in my class. That made everyday school life a little more pleasant. Deep in my thoughts, I strolled in the direction of my classroom, which hadn't changed. It must have taken me a long time to do this because when I walked into the classroom, almost everyone was seated.
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