Chapter 8 - THE DAY AFTER PART II

After talking to my dad I payed back down in bed and I tried to fall asleep. As I layed there trying to fall asleep I could smell Celine's scent all over my sheets and pillow. I smiled to myself as the events of lastnight fussed in my head. I hurried my head in my pillow and I started shaking excitedly. I really had an amazing time with Celine. She was so gentle with me. She was definitely not shy. Even though I was a bit shy because this was indeed my first time ever being with a woman I couldn't help but feel comfortable with Celine. I wished she didn't have to leave. As I thought about Celine my thoughts turned to my dad who just told me that he knew that I was into women even before I did, not only that but my mom knew as well. My best friend Dee even knew about this, it seemed as thought I was the one running from my true feelings. We're always told who we're supposed to love but the heart speaks for itself. The heart wants what the heart wants. There was no running or hiding from that. My mind was racing at this time so so many thoughts I just wanted to shut my brain off so I turned around and eventually I fell asleep. 

I woke up a few hours later and I went to take a shower. I did my hair and my make up and I got dressed. Sean was on his way over. When I woke up I saw a message from him saying he was going to come over after the gym. I changed my sheets and cleaned my room a little. After getting dressed I went downstairs, my dad had left for work and my mom went out to run some errands. I decided to get something to eat. I grabbed a bowl and some milk from the fridge and I took the Apple Jacks cereal out and I made a bowl of cereal. I turned on the television and I put on Netflix to watch an episode of Greys Anatomy while I eat my cereal and wait for Sean to come over. I finished my cereal and I continued watching Greys Anatomy. I suddenly received a text message from Celine saying "I can't stop thinking about you. I hope I get to see you later tonight." I smiled as I looked down at my phone at the text from Celine. I was startled as the door bell suddenly rang. I knew it had to be Sean so I went over to the door to open it. To my surprise it wasn't Sean it was a delivery guy holding a bunch of roses in his hand. He asked "Are you Jamie Scott?" I said yes I am with a confused look on my face he then hands me the roses and told me to have a nice day as he turns and walks away. I closed the door and I noticed that there was a card in between the roses and i reached for it. I opened the card and it reads, "I don't always know the right things to say, but you are the best thing left unspoken. This may sound corny but these roses symbolizes the 12 days and 12 months, 12 years and possibly a lifetime that I am hoping I could get to spend letting you know every single thing about me and me getting to know every single thing about you. This is my first step to us TALKING! I hope that you love the roses."

After I finished reading the card I started sobbing as this gesture was so sweet. I couldn't believe that Celine sent me roses. To be honest I never received roses before. I was surrounded by flowers when Sean took me out for my birthday once but he never personally surprised me with roses or any flowers. this was so beautiful, I picked up my phone to text Celine to say thank you but she ends up calling me at the same time. I picked up and she says " hey beautiful, I hope you love the roses. I know it's cheesy but I'm a cheesy person, something to know about me. I wanted something to break the awkwardness between us and I figured this was a good way to make you smile." As she says this I couldn't help but smile and laugh. I then said "yes, I absolutely love them they're beautiful and they smell amazing. It definitely put a huge smile on my face, thank you so much." She then says "I'm glad you love them, I have to run but we'll talk later,." She then says goodbye and we both hang up. 

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I placed the roses in a vase with some water and I placed it on the counter in the kitchen. As I was admiring the roses at this time, my phone vidrated and it was Sean telling me that he just pulled up outside. I went to the door to wait for him. As I got to the door I saw Sean walking up the driveway with a huge smile on his face. He then says "hey baby, how are you?" As he leans forward and gives me a kiss. He steps inside the house and he went to the fridge to grab a water bottle. As he was drinking the water he saw the roses and he says "wow these are really nice roses, are they your moms?" I wanted to say no they they're mine but then I knew that there would be the follow up question asking who they were from and then I would have to explain further so instead I said "yes they're my moms" Sean then says "that's cool, are you ok? What happened yesterday? You had me worried about you." I said "oh it's nothing what ever it was it passed and I'm fine now. It's sweet that you were worrried about me." Sean walks over to me grabs my hand and leads me over to the couch. He wrapped his big arms around me and held me and kissed me on my head and he says "I'm glad you're ok". I then felt this surge of guilt building up inside of me. So I pulled away and said "Sean we need to talk" I stared at him for a while before I said " you're a really good guy and you're great to me and to my parents and to my friends. Your respectful and such a gentlemen to me. And I appreciate you more than life itself" I stopped as I was trying to choke back the tears. As I was liking at Sean he had this confused look on his face. He didn't understand why I was saying all of this and where all of this was coming from?. I reached out to hold his hand when Sean suddenly pulls his hand away. He says "are you breaking up with me right now? Why? What did I do? If I'm so great then why?" His face was flushed at this time and he became angry. I then tried to explain to him what was happening and he got up and he says he needs some air and he walks out of the door. I tried to stop him from leaving but he didn't want to hear it. Sean is usually very calm and very collected I have never seen him get mad or angry. He doesn't even like to argue. To see him like this now broke my heart. I could only imagine how he must be feeling right now. I looked outside and he didn't take his care he really did go for a walk. he always used to say that people shouldn't drive when they're angry and he really believed this so he wouldn't drive until he was calm. I decided that I would wait for him to return or maybe I should just give him his space. I reached for my phone and I texted Sean "babe I'm so sorry, if we could just talk so I could explain everything then you would understand everything. If after your walk you would like to talk please come inside so we can finish talking, please." I waited for a reply but one never came. I went up to my room and I couldn't stop crying.