Sophia's journey - how to open up and love

I woke up screaming and sweating, myself and the bed are soaked. I feel disgusted and dirty. That was one of the worst nightmares I have had. It felt like I was back there, going through it all again. It was so real.

The only thing that would help right now is a nice shower. I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room. I was in my bedroom not on the floor back there. It was a relief. I pulled the covers to the side and slipped out of my bed, I love the feel of the carpet between my toes, something about it is so comforting.

Wrapping myself in my white dressing gown after my shower I stood in front of the mirror, I hated looking at my reflection, I looked pale and tired, I had big bags under my blue eyes, my blonde hair was a mess and my normally plump lips that are the shape of cupids bow, looked thin and dry. I closed my eyes and opened them straight away, I was breathing heavily and shaking, when I closed my eyes I could see his face smirking at me and felt his hands on me. It scared me.

After going back to my bedroom, I picked out my work uniform from my wardrobe and got dressed, I applied my usual foundation and blusher, and put my hair up into it's usual pony tail. I looked around my room and panicked, it felt like I was being watched. I shrugged of the feeling, thinking the nightmare must be playing with me and went to the kitchen.

After making a cup of tea I sat on the kitchen side, like I do every morning. I was looking out the window when I thought I saw HIM standing across the road looking at me, I quickly looked away and back again but he wasn't there, no one was. I guess this nightmare is still lingering on me. I picked up my phone just as I received a text message, it was my only friend Sally.

Sally - Hey, I'm outside when you're ready :) x

Me - Hey, I will be right down x

Sally is my best friend, I say best friend but she is also my only friend, she is my rock. I find it hard to trust people but with Sally I can be myself, she doesn't push me to open up and she is always there when I need her. I made my way down the block of flats and out the front. Up on seeing Sally with her brown straight hair and brown eyes, I smilled and waved. I walked to her car and climed into the passenger seat of her blue Audi, it was a lovely car.

I couldn't afford a car so Sally gave me a lift to work whenever we had the same shifts. Once I was inside the car Sally smiled and turned up the music that was playing, it was our favourite song, work by Britney Spears, don't ask me why we love this song, we just do. Sally started to sing along with the song then stopped "Hey unless you start singing this song with me, I'm not moving this car" Sally said with a smile.

"Okay, okay, I will sing along with you" I said with a eye roll.

Once I started singing she nodded her head with a huge smile. And of we went to work.

The whole day at work was weird, I felt uneasy, I kept looking over my shoulder, I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Fortunately the day went by fast and it was nearly time to finish. 

"Sophia, we still on for tonight?" Sally said with a huge smile.

"Erm.... what are we doing tonight?" I honestly can't remember planning anything.

"OMG. Don't tell me you forgot. We are hitting town for a few drinks." Sally was shaking her head but was smiling at the same time. "Honestly you forget everything."

She was right, I'm not good at remembering things, that is unless I put it in my phone.

"Oh okay, you coming to mine to get ready?" I asked.

"You bet, I have all my stuff with me in the car." Sally said with a smirk.

Once we left work we headed straight to my place. 

"Sally do you want to put some music on, see what's on the music channels" 

"Sure, I will make us some drinks, we have to be at least half drunk before heading into town" she chuckled.

Sally was to engrossed finding the best music channel to notice I rolled my eyes at her, while walking to my bedroom.

"I have a drink out here for you!" Sally shouted.

"Okay, I will be out in a minute" I replied.

"Girl you need to get new clothes, you always wear that when we go out" 

"Ya well.. I like this outfit. Can you please help me with my hair?" I put on my best puppy dog eyes.

"Don't look at me like that, just get your ass over here"

I walked over and sat in front of Sally. She was so good at styling hair, she should have been a hair dresser. 

10 minutes later and my hair was done.

I stood up and looked around the room. I could feel the heat of eyes buring into my back but there was only me and Sally here. I decided to ignore it and turn my attention back to Sally.

"Wow Sally, my hair looks amazing" she had put my hair in a half up half down style, the hair at the bottom had been curled while the top, she put in a messy bun, it definitely looked good.

"Why thank you" Sally blushed.

We both stood up ready to leave, making sure we both had everything we needed. After gulping down the last of our drinks, we were ready to go.